First Things First

—

I remember prayin’ in the dark, no reply, just the echo,

Feelin’ like a ghost in the flesh — heart hollow, steps mellow.

Sleepin’ on floors with my pride on the pillow,

Tellin’ God, “If I wake tomorrow, make me a symbol.”

Stomach growlin’ while I’m smilin’ for my kids’ sake,

Lights off, but they ain’t know I couldn’t lift the weight.

Still showed up with a cape they couldn’t see —

Had no strength for myself, but gave them all of me.

They ain’t never seen the part where I was breakin’ down,

Hidin’ tears behind my hoodie just to face the crowd.

Tryna hold it in — pain echo through my pen,

Turned my notebook to a temple where the healing begin.

I ain’t fold, I ain’t run, I ain’t beg for respect —

Had to earn every ounce with the time I had left.

Now I’m standin’ on the pain, it became my protection —

Swear to God, every scar was worth the reflection.

I was broke but I still made it stretch,

Took the pain, turned it all into steps.

I was sleep-deprived, chasin’ a check,

Feelin’ like I died, but I never left.

Kept receipts from the times I was doubted,

Kept the pain real quiet — never shouted.

They ain’t see the work, just the outcome,

But I bled for this, I ain’t outdone.

Mama ain’t call, but my kids do,

So I answer that ring like it’s big news.

I was runnin’ on fumes, still ten toes,

Had to hustle with tears in my gym clothes.

Couldn’t post pain — had to tuck that,

Put my head down, told ’em, “Run that.”

Now I’m up, but I’m humble with direction —

Still movin’ like I never had a second.

I gave my all to the ones that deserved me,

Even when I was broken, I still moved sturdy.

Still showed love when the world moved dirty,

Still gave grace to the ones who hurt me.

Had to learn peace ain’t loud — it’s chosen.

Had to find God in the moments I was frozen.

Now my shorty got a man that she can lean on,

Now my kids got a dad they can dream on.

Used to beg for love, now I give it to myself,

Used to doubt my worth, now I see the wealth.

Not in chains or the clout or the views I get —

But in every time I rose when I could’ve quit.

Every “no” that I flipped into somethin’ greater,

Every season I was quiet but became the maker.

Yeah, I suffered, but I never lost direction —

Now I’m livin’ proof pain leads to protection.