Spatula Warfare

(Intro - Whispered, Ominous, Makes No Sense)
The cows are watching…
They know what you did…
The government controls the spatulas…
SPATULAAAAA!!! (Screamed!)
(Verse 1 - Fast, Abrupt, Confusingly Political)
Why do we cook?! (WHY DO WE COOK?!)
With metal tools in a non-stick pan?! (DON’T SCRATCH THE SURFACE!)
The corporations sell you lies,
Aluminum foil in disguise!
(Bridge - Slows Down Suddenly, Very Melodic, Still Makes No Sense)
Plastic melts into your dreams…
Your pancakes whisper secret schemes…
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!
BECAUSE THE TOASTERS ARE ALL LISTENING!!!
(Chorus - Screamed, Pure Chaos)
SPATULA WARFARE! (HEY!)
THEY CONTROL WHAT YOU FLIP, BUT YOU DON’T CARE! (HEY!)
BURNT YOUR EGGS, NOW YOU’RE TRAPPED IN DESPAIR!
BUT THE GOVERNMENT’S SECRETLY HIDING YOUR HAIR!
(Verse 2 - Back to Fast, Almost Spoken-Wrapped, Random Nonsense)
Chopsticks, forks, and knives,
They’re all designed to steal your lives!
Why does the spoon have a curve?!
To collect your THOUGHTS and SELL THEM TO VERB!!!
(Breakdown - Super Slow, Like a Weird Ballad, Dramatic for No Reason)
Ohhhhhhh, the kitchen… is a prison…
Ohhhhhhh, your blender… knows your visions…
OH NOOOOOOOO!!!! (Screamed!)
(Final Chorus - Even More Chaotic, Random Words Thrown In)
SPATULA WARFARE! (MUSTARD!)
DON’T BELIEVE THE LIES IN THE TUPPERWARE! (CABBAGE!)
THEY WANT YOU TO DRAIN ALL YOUR SOUP! (GIRAFFE!)
BUT THE LADLE’S A SECRET GOVERNMENT SPOOK!
(Outro - Abruptly Stops, Then a Whisper)
…they know.
⸻

alternative metal, nu metal, hard rock, progressive metal, heavy metal, thrash metal, art rock, and avant-garde metal