LIVED A LIE

I think the hardest part is…

I knew…

I just didn’t want to accept it

⸻

I remember being low, needed something just to lean on

You were there for a second, then it shifted and was gone

Went from feeling like support to everything was on me

Like the blame changed direction when I needed you to hold me

And I saw it in your actions, I just chose not to read it

Told myself “she’ll change soon”, gave you reasons to believe it

Even told myself it’s me, maybe I’m the one that’s wrong

So I stayed inside a place I knew I didn’t belong

⸻

I lived a lie… I can’t hide it now

Felt the truth but I still stayed around

Told myself it’s gonna change somehow

But I see it clear when I face it now

⸻

It hit different after everything changed

After we had more to lose, more at stake

I was trying to hold it steady, trying to keep it intact

While ignoring how you treated me and pushing that back

I’d overlook the behaviour just to keep us aligned

Even when it didn’t sit right, I’d just bury my mind

’Cause I knew what it felt like growing up with no dad

So I stayed, tried to fight for something we never had

⸻

I ignored it, I won’t lie

Every red flag passed me by

Told myself it’s all fine

Even when it cost my mind

I stayed longer than I should

Knew the truth but never would

Say it how it really was

Now I see it for what it was

⸻

I lived a lie… I can’t hide it now

Felt the truth but I still stayed around

Told myself it’s gonna change somehow

But I see it clear when I face it now

⸻

(soft)

It wasn’t just you… it was me ignoring it

I lost myself… just to keep hold of it

⸻

And the truth is… I never felt enough

No matter what I gave, it was never quite enough

That’s the part that sits with me more than anything

Not the end of it — just what it did to me

I don’t hate you, I just see it for what it is

We had moments, but it never really fit

And I can say that now without losing who I am

’Cause I already lost myself just to try and make it stand

⸻

(quiet)

Lived a liiiie…