APRIL 1 (RETURN TO THE FATHER) (Rewritten)

[Intro – Piano + Wind + Thunder]
April 1…
No jokes…
No light…

Just me…
and God…

⸻

[Verse 1]
Yeah, I woke up heavy, something felt off,
Like the air in my chest didn’t want to stay soft.
Walked those halls with a prayer half-spoken,
Trying to stay strong but already broken.

Held your hand, felt it slipping from mine,
Begging God just to give me more time.
Monitors low, room went quiet and still,
Then everything stopped… and I felt His will.

I ain’t scream loud, I froze right there,
Like my soul left my body but stayed in prayer.
I said, “God, not now, I can’t take this weight,”
He said, “She not lost… she just through My gate.”

I didn’t want truth, I wanted you back,
Didn’t want faith, I wanted what I had.
But I felt something hold me when I couldn’t stand—
Like He took her…
and still held my hand.

⸻

[Hook – Low Choir]
April 1… I let you go,
But I ain’t ready, I need you close.
Gave you back to the One above,
But I’m still here… learning that love.

April 1… I said Your will,
But I’m still breaking, I’m hurting still.
If You got her, then hold her tight…
‘Cause I can’t… tonight.

⸻

[Verse 2]
Yeah, I stepped outside, rain hit my face,
Didn’t know if it was tears or just that day.
Everything quiet but my mind too loud,
Trying to talk to God but I ain’t know how.

My son asleep, didn’t know what changed,
Didn’t know his world would never be the same.
Too small to feel what I couldn’t hide,
Too young to know his mama just died.

I said, “Lord, I’m lost, I don’t feel You near,”
He said, “I’m right here… even in this fear.”
Told me breathe through pain, don’t run from it,
Even broken faith still count as trust.

I ain’t strong right now, I’m just holding on,
Saying Your name ‘cause it’s all I got.
If this is Your plan, I don’t understand,
But I’m still reaching with shaking hands.

⸻

[Hook – Slightly Stronger]
April 1… I let you go,
But I still feel you in my soul.
Heaven got you, I believe…
But it still feel like you should be here with me.

⸻

[Bridge – Soft + French]
Elle retourne au Père…
(She returns to the Father…)
Là où la douleur s’arrête…
(Where pain ends…)

⸻

[Verse 3]
Yeah… I didn’t lose you…
I just can’t reach you…

That’s the part that break me…

Every quiet moment hit too loud,
Every empty space feel like a crowd.
Your voice in my head, your touch in my mind,
But my hands come back empty every time.

I still talk to you like you here with me,
Still say your name when I barely breathe.
I don’t got peace, I just got belief…
And right now… that’s enough for me.

If God got you, then I trust His care,
Even if I wish I was still there.
One day I’ll see you, I hold that tight…
But I gotta live…
through this night.

⸻

[Final Hook – Choir, restrained]
April 1… return to Him,
Where love don’t break and light don’t dim.
Though I hurt and I don’t understand…
I still place you in His hands.

⸻

[Outro – Piano Alone]
I gave you back…

But I wasn’t ready…

God…
take care of her…

Until I can again…

Piano, low pads, soft drums, bass, choir, wind fx, distant thunder, male