“Open Pages”

Every time I pick it up I wanna put it down
Leather and linen like a weight I don’t know how
I open to a verse like it’s gonna say my name
Like lightning in the margins or a whisper in the pain
I’m searching for a sentence that’ll finally make it clear
But the room just stays quiet and the doubt gets loud in here


I know You don’t speak on command
I know faith ain’t a vending machine
But I’m on my knees with shaking hands
Still begging You to see me


So take me to the silence
Where belief don’t come with proof
Where loving You is choosing
Even when You don’t come through
I keep reading like You owe me
Some kind of holy cue
But I stay anyway
Because leaving hurts more than the truth


I flip through old red letters like they owe me relief
Like if I land on the right line You’ll finally talk to me
I hear stories of burning bushes and voices in the dark
But all I get is empty space and a stubborn, breaking heart
I rinse and repeat this ritual of hope and shame
Knowing You don’t work this way but I do it just the same


I know You’re not a sign on demand
I know You don’t shout just to prove
But I’m tired of guessing where You stand
When I’m bleeding in the pew


So take me to the silence
Where faith is raw and rude
Where prayers feel unanswered
And I still choose You
I keep asking for a miracle
Like You’re supposed to move
But I stay anyway
Because doubt still believes in You


Maybe faith ain’t fireworks
Maybe it’s staying when it hurts
Maybe You’re not in what I hear
But in the fact that I’m still here
Still opening these pages
Still calling out Your name
Still hoping that the quiet
Isn’t You walking away


If You’re testing my patience
I’m failing with grace
But I keep showing up
With tears on my face


So take me to the altar
Of unanswered prayer
Where love is just obedience
And You don’t explain Yourself there
I don’t need the thunder
I don’t need the proof
I’ll keep opening the Word
Even when it don’t open You


I close the book in silence
But I don’t close the door
If faith is just the waiting
Then I’ll wait a little more

folk, soul, blues, and rock, with strong elements of gospel, R&B, and indie, Southern Gothic, male voice