I woke up this morning to a text from my mom She said I was adopted and my real dad is Tom Wait, Tom from MySpace? That doesn't seem right Then I walked into the kitchen and I saw the light Or I would have seen the light if the bulb wasn't gone I tripped on a skateboard that shouldn't belong To a guy in his forties who’s hurting his back And just like that I fell into the trap It happens every year like a recurring dream Or a bad plot device in a movie vibe scheme I let my guard down for a second or two And now I’m covered in glitter and superglue Cause it’s April first and I’m the worst At checking the date on the phone I believe what I read and I’m easy to lead And I should have just stayed home Yeah the calendar says spring but the joke is on me There’s plastic wrap on the toilet seat I’m the king of the fools And you are the queen of mean Na na na na na na Na na na na na na I went to my car just to drive to the store But someone had wired the horn to the door So the neighbors came out just to look at the show Of a grown man struggling with getting to go To buy a six-pack of beer and a bag of ice Jenny told me she loved me and she seemed so nice But she put a sign on the back of my truck That says Honk if you know that this guy really sucks It happens every year and I never learn why I’m the gullible guy with the look in his eye That says kick me or trick me or tell me a lie I’ll believe that pigs are learning to fly Cause it’s April first and I’m the worst At checking the date on the phone I believe what I read and I’m easy to lead And I should have just stayed home Yeah the calendar says spring but the joke is on me There’s Oreos filled with toothpaste, see I’m the king of the fools And you are the queen of mean I thought about faking a heart attack But I knew that you wouldn’t believe in that I thought about telling you I won the lotto But being a failure is kind of my motto So I’ll just sit here and take the abuse While you pour vodka in my apple juice Actually that one isn’t so bad Maybe the best day that I ever had Cause it’s April first and I’m the worst At checking the date on the phone I believe what I read and I’m easy to lead And I should have just stayed home Yeah the calendar says spring but the joke is on me You said you were pregnant with triplets, three I’m the king of the fools Yeah I’m the king of the fools And you are the queen of mean Na na na na na na Na na na na na na The queen of mean Na na na na na na Totally got me

The king of the fools