The king of the fools

I woke up this morning to a text from my mom

She said I was adopted and my real dad is Tom

Wait, Tom from MySpace? That doesn't seem right

Then I walked into the kitchen and I saw the light

Or I would have seen the light if the bulb wasn't gone

I tripped on a skateboard that shouldn't belong

To a guy in his forties who’s hurting his back

And just like that I fell into the trap

It happens every year like a recurring dream

Or a bad plot device in a movie vibe scheme

I let my guard down for a second or two

And now I’m covered in glitter and superglue

Cause it’s April first and I’m the worst

At checking the date on the phone

I believe what I read and I’m easy to lead

And I should have just stayed home

Yeah the calendar says spring but the joke is on me

There’s plastic wrap on the toilet seat

I’m the king of the fools

And you are the queen of mean

Na na na na na na

Na na na na na na

I went to my car just to drive to the store

But someone had wired the horn to the door

So the neighbors came out just to look at the show

Of a grown man struggling with getting to go

To buy a six-pack of beer and a bag of ice

Jenny told me she loved me and she seemed so nice

But she put a sign on the back of my truck

That says Honk if you know that this guy really sucks

It happens every year and I never learn why

I’m the gullible guy with the look in his eye

That says kick me or trick me or tell me a lie

I’ll believe that pigs are learning to fly

Cause it’s April first and I’m the worst

At checking the date on the phone

I believe what I read and I’m easy to lead

And I should have just stayed home

Yeah the calendar says spring but the joke is on me

There’s Oreos filled with toothpaste, see

I’m the king of the fools

And you are the queen of mean

I thought about faking a heart attack

But I knew that you wouldn’t believe in that

I thought about telling you I won the lotto

But being a failure is kind of my motto

So I’ll just sit here and take the abuse

While you pour vodka in my apple juice

Actually that one isn’t so bad

Maybe the best day that I ever had

Cause it’s April first and I’m the worst

At checking the date on the phone

I believe what I read and I’m easy to lead

And I should have just stayed home

Yeah the calendar says spring but the joke is on me

You said you were pregnant with triplets, three

I’m the king of the fools

Yeah I’m the king of the fools

And you are the queen of mean

Na na na na na na

Na na na na na na

The queen of mean

Na na na na na na

Totally got me