The Shanty Man

(Verse 1)

Our barque is tight, the wind is right, the spirits high and bold,

We’re hauling up a heavy crate of spices and of gold!

But then he opens up his trap and lets a holler fly,

Like a walrus with a toothache or a banshee in the sky!

(Chorus)

Oh, shut your mouth, you scoundrel, and put down the lyric sheet,

Your pitch is like a cannonball a-rolling down the street!

You’re flat as a stale biscuit and you’re sharper than a tack,

We’d trade you for a barrel if the devil’d take you back!

(Verse 2)

The whales all dive for cover when he tries to hit a C,

The dolphins start to vomit as they’re swimming in the sea!

The Captain’s ears are bleeding and the Master’s gone stone deaf,

He couldn't find a melody if he sat upon the clef!

(Chorus)

Oh, shut your mouth, you scoundrel, and put down the lyric sheet,

Your pitch is like a cannonball a-rolling down the street!

You’re flat as a stale biscuit and you’re sharper than a tack,

We’d trade you for a barrel if the devil’d take you back!

(Verse 3)

He tried a sentimental song about a girl in port,

The rats all jumped the gunwale for a death of any sort!

His rhythm is a cluster and his tone is pure despair,

Like a rusty winch a-grinding through a mess of matted hair!

(Chorus)

Oh, shut your mouth, you scoundrel, and put down the lyric sheet,

Your pitch is like a cannonball a-rolling down the street!

You’re flat as a stale biscuit and you’re sharper than a tack,

We’d trade you for a barrel if the devil’d take you back! life