Necessary connection

The silence stretches thin between the rings, a forced cordiality coating the for this necessary connection when  the rush hour avalanche spreads sheets bleeding numbers.
It is simply the  holding the thought 
this shape of things.
grand structure, perhaps,
the minute required  focus 
 that must be 
 the pause 
that signals attention.
utterance be tailored,
Even here, in this space
 cleared of immediate crisis,
Awareness 
the self tethered
a land where the wind dictates your path,
where fences are suggestions, sometimes.
Possibly a waste of thought
The wide-open sky, the asphalt 
 toward possibilities of Freedom, 
 word given heavy where implications 
Are comprehended 
what freedom of thus within the  landscapes
demands a straight line,
and the outer world insists on detours?
On tours of existing 
this constant self-editing?
Do I dislike the living status?
The slow creep of obligation?
The knowledge  with compliance?
Or is it the opposite, a strange borders,
to find deep, satisfying peace within the carefully constructed boundaries? Instilled is
These lines on the road of these daily tasks.
 the regulation,
the neat stacking 
of expectation,be here behind
the walls an outs that define the breathing  submission,
or this finding of grace in the accepted pattern.
But the phone a low frequency 
and I am caught again between the unstructured truth and the practiced whisper that keeps the wires  unpassing passing
The self says one thing, listen
To  the voice on the line for another.

life feels heavy, strangely arranged.

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