Nothing at all

Man I fucked up for the important things in my life I must of
Now I live my life empty deep down I continue to suffer
And it's my fault don't you dare blame anyone else
I'm the man of the house and I let the mission failed
And the one thing for me that made me the proudest  in this world
Anybody know me knows it's my wife and my girls
Shocked for my life I couldn't do nothing 
How did this happen I couldn't even function
Something has to eventually turn my way
i gave up on myself  still waiting on that day
But I don't even know what that is
At the end of the day I'm still feeling like shit
get this I am a little better I had to kill myself
That's why I live everyday not expecting anything else 
i don't need money no plans and I got no hope to live for
I promise myself  to appreciate the days if I get more
And more and more I can see
I'm not mad but I would of gave anything for my family
But in hindsight I did that too
I'm trying to understand what the fuck did I do
I apologize I wish I had someone to help me
I didn't say shit so there's nothing you can tell me
Would you want things to end if you can never find the start
I literally fell apart and damaged my heart
I know what I went through you don't have to know 
I hope God understands I hope he heals my soul
It's too overwhelming I consider it a sacrifice 
I hope I take away all the pain that was meant for all my families life
That's all I ever wanted ànyway the best for them all
I still don't know what to do with my life nothing at all

 Rap,Hip Hop