🎧 [Intro – funky slap bass + anime announcer voice] 📣 “Last time on OP Nerd: High & Blessed... Our hero found peace in the Land of Booze & Kush... But now? He wandered into the Desert of Double Cheeks... ...and got ambushed by booty.” Cue jazz flute trill, gun cock, and soft moan SFX --- 🎤 [Verse 1 – desert ambush] I was rollin’ deep with snacks and loot, Feelin’ cute in my anime boots. Then out the sand came a thunderous clap, Ass so loud, broke my minimap. Three bandit babes with curves on stun, Said, “Drop the gold — or drop that bun.” Tried to run — but cheeks were dense, Got hit by a bounce and lost all sense. 💥🍑 --- 🎤 [Pre-Chorus – dramatic whisper chant] 🎵 It was fast… it was thicc… 🎵 They took my wallet and my breadstick. 🎵 They rode away in a titty-shaped cart… 🎵 And left me with shame… and visible heart. --- 🎤 [Chorus – chant + hype crowd FX] 🔥 THIGHWAY ROBBERY — HANDS UP, CHEEKS OUT! Booty came flyin’ like a bandit shout. 🎯 They clapped so hard, I dropped my sword, Now I’m broke, bricked up, and emotionally floored. 🚨 THIGHWAY ROBBERY — NO ESCAPE! She winked, I moaned — now I need a cape. Gold’s all gone, snacks got jacked, But my pants still tight from the rear-end attack. --- 🎤 [Verse 2 – bounce tax] One had thighs like anime lore, The other had jiggle with its own backstory. The third wore boots, but nothing else, She said, “This is my tax — now undress yourself.” They didn’t kill me — they just teased, One kissed my cheek and stole my cheese. 🧀 Said, “You’re cute, but way too easy,” Then twerked away while callin’ me “Nee-san, please~!” --- 🎧 [Bridge – lo-fi regret with sax] I’m sittin’ here… broke and bothered. No loot, no snacks… just thighs in my flashbacks. 🎵 I tried to simp respectfully… 🎵 But the booty was criminally effective… --- 🎤 [Final Chorus – sacred prophecy unleashes] 🔥 THIGHWAY ROBBERY — SCROLLS DON’T LIE! I’m the Holy One—certified by thighs. 📜 “Hero of Prophecy?” Damn right I am, But I still got mugged for my vape and yam. 💀 THIGHWAY ROBBERY — BOUNCE ON SIGHT! Booty pulled up like a thief in the night. She looted my bag, then my will to stand, Left me with thirst and a clappin’ hand. Scrolls said I’d bust seven realms with grace— Turns out, two cheeks can erase that place. They clapped so hard, the prophecy shook; Even fate said, “L + ratio, look.” 💦 --- 🎧 [Outro – narrator over jazz beat] 📣 “Next time on OP Nerd... Will he reclaim his vape? Will his snacks be avenged? Will he ever walk straight again?

Thighway Robbery