Sour Apple (en)

Time drips slowly like acid rain,

I’m standing still — don’t ask me why again.

I float with time while I don’t move at all,

sticky boredom crawling through my soul.

My heart drifts off, it’s losing shape,

I don’t see it — and I don’t wanna know my fate.

I don’t take steps, I let it drag me through,

between one second and a hollow truth.

The world beside me is unfamiliar noise,

I’m just myself — my only crowd, my voice.

Am I asleep or wide awake?

Don’t ask me now — my words would break.

Sadness hurts, so I mute the sound,

I feel nothing — that’s safer now.

I’m sour apple, bitter taste,

one bite deep — the scar will stay.

If I move, I rot the air,

if I change at all — I turn to shade.

I’m sour apple, rotten core,

every touch becomes a scar.

If I’m someone else today,

it’s all or nothing — no in-between.

They hand me words, I grind them down,

my heart suspended, thoughts like smoke all around.

If I move — it’s not for gold,

it’s to break the order I was told.

Does wasted time still build a future frame?

I’m standing where I shouldn’t be — no shame.

You wanna label me? Don’t search for art,

just say it straight: “toxic,” “poison,” “dark.”

Does it hurt? Is this regret?

I don’t even know who I am yet.

Every step’s a debt too steep,

I don’t know people — I just know the freeze.

I’m sour apple, bitter taste,

one bite deep — the scar will stay.

If I move, I rot the air,

if I change at all — I turn to shade.

I’m sour apple, rotten core,

every touch becomes a scar.

If I’m someone else today,

it’s all or nothing — no in-between.

I’m right here, in this moment, in this dream,

if I’m supposed to change — then show me where to be.

If I’m supposed to change — then show me how,

all I know is venom and the fear I found.

Movement means destruction, movement means I fall,

every bridge I light up, every wall.

If I cry — will something break inside?

Will my heart turn white in the night?

I’m sour apple — I admit it now,

I poison you and myself somehow.

If I change — I won’t do half,

either blackened skies or aftermath.

I’m sour apple, say it straight,

I rot you too — I know my weight.

I’m not a beast — not yet, not me,

it was fear that taught me how to bare my teeth!

I don’t know you, I don’t know me,

maybe someday — just not today.