Blue Balls and an Itch

[Verse 1]
You said, “Come over”
I shaved and I prayed
Used my best cologne
Almost passed out from the spray
You opened the door
In your big old hoodie
Said, “Let’s just cuddle”
Like that counted as booty (c’mon!)
[Chorus]
You left me with blue balls and an itch
Heart in the gutter, pants in a ditch
Netflix credits, I’m beggin’ for a switch
But you hit “next episode”
You left me with blue balls and an itch
Tease on ten like a broken light switch
I need a doctor or at least a quick fix
And some ice, for the road
[Verse 2]
We made out for hours
You climbed on my lap
Then you checked your horoscope
Said, “Tonight’s a trap”
You lit all those candles
Then said, “I’m so tired”
Girl, my soul stood up
While my body retired (oh man)
[Chorus]
You left me with blue balls and an itch
Heart in the gutter, pants in a ditch
Netflix credits, I’m beggin’ for a switch
But you hit “next episode”
You left me with blue balls and an itch
Tease on ten like a broken light switch
I need a doctor or at least a quick fix
And some ice, for the road
[Bridge]
Group chat blowin’ up
“Bro, you score or what?” (nah)
All I got tonight
Was hugs and karma cuts
Might start a support group
“Almost Got Some” club
We meet on Thursdays
Bring your own cold tub (hey!)
[Chorus]
You left me with blue balls and an itch
Heart in the gutter, pants in a ditch
Netflix credits, I’m beggin’ for a switch
But you hit “next episode”
You left me with blue balls and an itch
Tease on ten like a broken light switch
I need a reset, or at least a glitch
And a friend… with benefits (oh yeah)

Bouncy pop-punk groove with bright distorted guitars, tight bass, and snappy drums; male vocals leaning comedic and conversational. Verses stay sparse and punchy, choruses stack gang shouts and octave doubles, with a quick drum fill into a shout-along bridge for maximum crowd energy.