Don’t Cha (Boyfriend Remix)

“Don’t Cha (Boyfriend Remix)”

Performed by Kurt
Theme: Gay flirtation, confidence, and stealing your man with clipboard swagger
To the tune of “Don’t Cha” by The Pussycat Dolls Early 2000s Hip-Hop/R&B/Pop

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[Intro – Kurt, sultry tone]

Ooooh… yeah…
I see you over there…
Lookin’ at me while he holds your drink?
Cute.

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[Verse 1 – Kurt]

I roll up in the truck with the gloss on ten,
Shades down low and a tight black pen.
I see your man tryin’ hard to flex,
But I bench press more and I sign the checks.

He lookin’ bored, I’m lookin’ bold,
He wears dad jeans — I got rose gold.
I take charge, I stack that bed,
While he’s still fumblin’ with the dolly instead.

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[Chorus – Kurt, commanding]

🎶 Don’t cha wish your boyfriend was hot like me?
Don’t cha wish he twerked with the pipe crew three?
Don’t cha? (Ooh!) Don’t cha?? 🎶
🎶 Don’t cha wish your man wore lace and steel
And had moves that made ya bite your meal?
Don’t cha? (You know he don’t!) Don’t cha?? 🎶

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[Verse 2 – Kurt, leaning in]

I got gel, gloss, muscle and sass,
He got flat feet, no pipe, no ass.
I make spreadsheets and a man moan,
While your man cries when he’s left alone.

I know he say you’re “just his type,”
But last week he stared at me all night.
He texted “hey” — yeah, I got the proof,
Next thing you know we’re sharing a booth.

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[Chorus – Now with the crew echoing “Don’t cha!”]

🎶 Don’t cha wish your boyfriend could cook and lift?
Quote a move and then grind that shift?
Don’t cha? (Don’t cha!) Don’t cha?? 🎶
🎶 Don’t cha wish your man knew how to dance
While whisperin’ quotes in a towel, no pants?
Don’t cha? (He wish he could!) Don’t cha?? 🎶

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[Bridge – Spoken Word / Whisper]

I’m not sayin’ leave him.
But like…
If he can’t parallel park or parallel play?
You deserve better, baby.

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[Final Chorus – Full Power Diva Mode]

🎶 Don’t cha wish your boyfriend had style and flair
And knew where to kiss with his mouth and hair?
Don’t cha? (Mmmhmm!) Don’t cha?? 🎶
🎶 Don’t cha wish he could roll both ways,
Sing R&B and then slay on stage?
Don’t cha?? …
You know he can’t. 🎶

Hip-hop/Pop, male