Don’t Cha (Boyfriend Remix)

“Don’t Cha (Boyfriend Remix)”

Performed by Kurt

Theme: Gay flirtation, confidence, and stealing your man with clipboard swagger

To the tune of “Don’t Cha” by The Pussycat Dolls Early 2000s Hip-Hop/R&B/Pop

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Ooooh… yeah…

I see you over there…

Lookin’ at me while he holds your drink?

Cute.

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I roll up in the truck with the gloss on ten,

Shades down low and a tight black pen.

I see your man tryin’ hard to flex,

But I bench press more and I sign the checks.

He lookin’ bored, I’m lookin’ bold,

He wears dad jeans — I got rose gold.

I take charge, I stack that bed,

While he’s still fumblin’ with the dolly instead.

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🎶 Don’t cha wish your boyfriend was hot like me?

Don’t cha wish he twerked with the pipe crew three?

Don’t cha? (Ooh!) Don’t cha?? 🎶

🎶 Don’t cha wish your man wore lace and steel

And had moves that made ya bite your meal?

Don’t cha? (You know he don’t!) Don’t cha?? 🎶

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I got gel, gloss, muscle and sass,

He got flat feet, no pipe, no ass.

I make spreadsheets and a man moan,

While your man cries when he’s left alone.

I know he say you’re “just his type,”

But last week he stared at me all night.

He texted “hey” — yeah, I got the proof,

Next thing you know we’re sharing a booth.

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🎶 Don’t cha wish your boyfriend could cook and lift?

Quote a move and then grind that shift?

Don’t cha? (Don’t cha!) Don’t cha?? 🎶

🎶 Don’t cha wish your man knew how to dance

While whisperin’ quotes in a towel, no pants?

Don’t cha? (He wish he could!) Don’t cha?? 🎶

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I’m not sayin’ leave him.

But like…

If he can’t parallel park or parallel play?

You deserve better, baby.

⸻

🎶 Don’t cha wish your boyfriend had style and flair

And knew where to kiss with his mouth and hair?

Don’t cha? (Mmmhmm!) Don’t cha?? 🎶

🎶 Don’t cha wish he could roll both ways,

Sing R&B and then slay on stage?

Don’t cha?? …

You know he can’t. 🎶