[Rapid rap] Wanna take each day as it comes cos when I do I stay authentic & positive Even in fear Im true to me im congruent & fluid Fluent with nuance & flow into it I allow for presence & NOT performance From aiming too far beyond what Im not capable of on the day due to the unknown of how I feel in my body cos My A.D.H.D & my C.P.T.S.D are complex Gives me that inner hot mess complex That gets Nothin that'll Earn a medal I just suffer in silence So influenced By external factors like others ignorance Triggers my body into defense Hense this unless I shrink & be less I think They'll leave me Which doesn't make sense But I stay hidden away Cos that way I stay safe & so I wait In my room all day The only room I can control & feel ok taking the lead of me For the majority But sometimes I do need somebody Cos my brain goes Into game mode tryin to beat level 800 maximum difficulty Leavin me Always trailing Feeling the more I try Is why I keep on failing My body screaming For autonomy I been needing to finally Get the time to rest to gain my strength back To rise strong Full on & get back on track Wanna let go of feeling like I gotta hold it all together alone & accept it is what it is Im not broken just sick Nobody's fault im like this Ask for help Reach out Call myself out own my shit growl at myself if I need it Then its motivational speech time Usually I'll say along these lines Hey you know how this works Show up how you can while thrown the worst by the universe. Dont forget its a test to see if you choose to rest Or you choose the loop Another round to get that lesson to land That means you gotta Go on a little longer, Talk it out, write a song Make a plan So I wrote a song To help understand How to efficiently help me - Sam I need Some guilt free Fear free time to rest, Or do whatever i choose to invest My time into & to know What I choose isn't gonna be used As a reason the kids lose Time with their dad Simply cos he views my choice as 'bad' I need availability For my body To fully give in to Surrender so love can get through Spend less time in stress Instead Create more Sing out loud more From the souls core Lyrics devouring Empowering motivates & energizes me Inspires me Or it might make me Wanna cry Tears of joy Or grief Layers of things Come up from underneath Brings lotsa stuff up for me I need to calmly breathe & process without worry I gotta hurry Cos the kids need me there Like every day has been the last 2 years. Wish my other crap would fuck off & maybe then Id stop falling into the trap Of looping & the patterns that Keep taking me round n round & around round all around Distracting me Away from my dreams being seen Being found & my higher purpose Journey Triggers the nervous Systems learning Well im hopeful This time will be the final Btch & moan [Outro] Haha I know i know Being like this I get so embarrassed I hope it motivates me To do better & not stay stuck here forever Cos fuck that! So c'mon Lets go! Yea Its on!

I need..