Asshole Ski Patrol

Pulled up to the hill in my busted old truck

Tag on my jacket, coffee in a paper cup

First run of the morning, just mindin’ my lane

Here comes Captain Clipboard, lookin’ for someone to blame

Asshole ski patrol

Blowin’ that whistle like he’s runnin’ the world

Red jacket, big ego, tiny little soul

Yeah he wrote me up for smilin’

Said my vibe was outta control

Asshole ski patrol

Says, “Son, that hat ain’t regulation wear”

Writes me one more warning ‘cause my boots don’t match my chair

Told me “Fun is fine, long as I approve”

Guess I broke a hidden law by findin’ my own groove

One day I’ll buy this mountain

Name a run after him

Call it “Power Trip Parkway”

Black diamond, extra thin

We’ll put his picture on the sign

So everybody knows

To slow down for the snow cop

Guardin’ all the snow