Make it better Mom

When will I wake up from this dream or nightmare? Only it's not a dream or nightmare, it's real life.

When will I realize that adult decisions have adult consequences?

Do I even know how many lives will be affected by this?

I've really done it now. How will I get out of this mess? As much as I want to follow my heart, I need to be rational.

What do you do? Where do you turn? When you don't have any answers.

Why do I have to be so stubborn?

Why can't I be smart and not follow my heart.

I do know what I want to do, but I shouldn't go down that road. And besides I'll have to face my maker after I leave this Earth. And he wouldn't like it my decision.

But will I be forgiven? That's neither here nor there will I be able to forgive myself?

I wish I was a little girl still home with my Mom. Mom would fix everything, would make everything better. How I wish she was here to make it all better.