Krampus Comes Along

The naughty boys and girls wept
Late on Christmas Eve
Their little hearts downtrodden 
And tears on their sleeves
Chance after chance: come and gone
While the happy kids laughed together in song
The one that goes, Krampus is coming along.

You cussed out your teacher one day at school 
You tossed a small dog in the neighborhood pool
You forgot all the trash cans in back of the house
You tortured your sister with a great big fat mouse
You said you were sorry and didn’t feel well 
Now Krampus is coming to take you to hell
Oh, Krampus is coming to take you to hell

You lied to your momma and  your papa too
You stole all the gloves and filled them with glue
You stayed up past bedtime and pretended to sleep
You pushed your poor sister when she wouldn’t leap
You took it all back, but your fingers were crossed
Still, Krampus is coming to see you hell tossed
Oh, Krampus is coming to see you he’ll tossed

You cried out loud a’watching the kids play
You’re stuck inside on this lovely snow day
You scream and curse at their holiday cheer
You look all around and sneak a holiday beer
You say oh, well, Krampus be damned
Then run your thumb across the Christmas ham
You don’t know how to be good or where to begin
So, Krampus is coming to eat out your sin
Yes, Krampus is coming to eat all your sin

You cling to your covers on Christmas Eve night 
You pray to the lord to learn wrong from right
You promised to give up the dirty girl mags
And vowed you would toss them in the morning trash bags
But out on the stairs you hear a stumbled step creep
You’re situation is final; you’re just in too deep
You see the dark shadow climbing the wall
And grab your baseball bat and spring into the hall 
The crouched figure halts and began to spin
So you lift up your slugger with devilish grin
The figure yells stop and stands in place
While you bring down the bat into Krampus’ face

The jolly fat man crumbled to the ground 
Santa’s  left leg twitched and he gurgled a sound
“I never gave up on you and believed you’d do well
Now, Krampus is surely coming to drag you to Hell!”
And so Krampus appeared to drag you to hell!

But Santa soon healed and now he is well. 

Christmas