Hook I been mixin’ my pain with chemicals Tryna feel normal, that shit never works High for the night, then it get unbearable Love feel fake, but the pills still flirt I been drownin’ my thoughts in medical Doctor said slow down, I sped it up first Heart too loud, so I numb it with Percs Smile for the world while my soul still hurts Verse 1 Yeah, I wake up sick, need somethin’ to feel Coffee and a pill just to make shit real Everybody say, “Bro, just heal,” But they ain’t never had demons knockin’ on the wheel I don’t chase highs, I escape lows Same vice, different nights, same clothes I tried love, that shit came with a halo Then it fell off fast, now my heart got holes I don’t do drugs to be cool, I do drugs to cope There’s a difference, but they don’t fuckin’ know If I’m sober too long, my mind get close To a dark-ass place I don’t like to go Hook I been mixin’ my pain with chemicals Tryna feel normal, that shit never works High for the night, then it get unbearable Love feel fake, but the pills still flirt I been drownin’ my thoughts in medical Doctor said slow down, I sped it up first Heart too loud, so I numb it with Percs Smile for the world while my soul still hurts Verse 2 I been poppin’ my feelings, not just prescriptions Every memory sharp, every thought intrusive I loved that girl like it was religion She left me alone with my bad decisions Now it’s late nights, bad habits Bottle half empty, brain full static I tell myself, “Bro, you got this,” Then I relapse mentally, fuckin’ panic I ain’t proud of the shit I been leanin’ on But it keep me alive when I’m feelin’ gone Everybody want peace, I just want it calm Just one quiet night where my head don’t scream Bridge I don’t wanna die, I just don’t wanna feel There’s a difference they don’t ever hear If I overdose, don’t call me weak I been fightin’ wars in my fuckin’ sleep Verse 3 I tried clean livin’, it felt fake Like raw emotions too sharp to take So I roll one up, let my heart sedate Tell myself I’ll quit on a better day They say I’m lost, maybe that’s true But I still show up, still push through If this pain the cost of seein’ truth Then fuck it, I’ll pay it—what else to do? Hook / Outro I been mixin’ my pain with chemicals Tryna feel normal, that shit never works High for the night, then it get unbearable Still chase love even though it hurts If I crash one day, just know this first: I tried my best in a fucked-up world This ain’t glorification, this a cry for help Wrapped in a beat, poured out in words