[INTRO] [Heavy, distorted guitar. Bass growls underneath. Drummer hits a massive fill with double-kick + sleigh-bells on the hi-hat.] [Santa (gravelly, stage-god voice)] Ho! Ho! HOOO! You kept it quiet all year… Now it’s time to make some NOISE! --- [ VERSE 1] Eight tiny engines burnin’ hotter than desire, Fueled by cocoa rockets and chimney-soot fire! The Pole starts rumblin’, the workshop screams, Billions of boxes ridin’ lightning beams! Sleigh’s got a nitro blast under the runner, We ain’t flyin’ peaceful—NO—we bring the thunder! Traded in the velvet for a leather suit black, ‘Cause once the big man launches, there’s no turnin’ back! --- [PRE-CHORUS] Checkin’ the list, yeah—I’m makin’ it twice, Snow’s blowin’ sideways, the air’s cuttin’ like ice! Every chimney, rooftop, tower and antenna— Gonna wake the whole world from Tokyo to Vienna! --- [CHORUS — THE HOOK] REINDEER RIOT! (Gonna shake the snow!) REINDEER RIOT! (Gonna steal the show!) Hear the bells ring and the jet-stream scream— It’s a ROCK & ROLL CHRISTMAS DREAM! Kick the presents out the back door— WE WANT MORE! MORE! MORE! --- [VERSE 2] You’re fast asleep, thinkin’ sweet little toys, But the only sound tonight is the Reindeer Noise! Blitzen shreddin’ slide, and Comet jammin’ keys, Sky’s a stadium of thunder—droppin’ to your knees! Milk and cookies waiting? Yeah, I’ll take that sip, But I’m crackin’ open midnight with a metal-chain whip! From the frozen crown to the oceans and plains, Ice in my beard, molten fire in my veins! --- [PRE-CHORUS] Checkin’ the list, yeah—I’m makin’ it twice, Snow’s blowin’ sideways, the air’s cuttin’ like ice! Every chimney, rooftop, tower and antenna— Gonna wake the whole world from Cairo to Vienna! --- [ CHORUS — BIGGER, ELVES JOIN IN] REINDEER RIOT! (Gonna shake the snow!) REINDEER RIOT! (Gonna steal the show!) Hear the bells ring and the jet-stream scream— It’s a ROCK & ROLL CHRISTMAS DREAM! Kick the presents out the back door— WE WANT MORE! MORE! MORE! --- [GUITAR SOLO / BRIDGE] [Erupts in shred—high-speed tapping, sleigh-bells synced to drum fills, then crashes into a soaring melodic bend.] [Santa (yelling over the solo)] RUDOLPH—LIGHT IT UP! HIT IIIIIIT! [Solo ends in a dive-bomb that sounds like the sleigh taking off.] --- [FINAL CHORUS — SLOW, THEN EXPLODING] REINDEER RIOT! (Gonna shake the snow!) REINDEER RIOT! (Gonna steal the show!) Hear the bells ring and the jet-stream scream— It’s a ROCK & ROLL CHRISTMAS DREAM! Kick the presents out the back door— WE WANT MOOOORE! MORE! MORE! --- [OUTRO] [The intro riff returns, accelerating. Drums go wild.] Santa screams a final, heroic note: SANTA’S BAAAAACK! [Cymbal crash. Sleigh engines roar into the fading distance. One last ghostly sleigh bell… then a deep, distorted] HO… HO… HOOOO