Every Dude Like Kyle

I know a dude named Kyle, you can hear him from a mile, he’s one crazy sun of a gun

He’s the only man I know that’ll put on a panda suit just for a quickie

I feel sorry for any poor girl that meets this man because next thing she’ll know that man will ask her to be pegged 

Man this dude is perfectly straight, he’s just so crazy 

This man doesn’t need no oil but you be mistaken if he doesn’t use tinfoil to steal your oil

Now y’all may be asking, how does a man steal oil with tinfoil and till this day I have no idea 

One minute he will do a naked handstand in the Walmart aisle, but hey that’s just Kyle 

Man oh man, you never know what to expect 

He’s got the energy of a racehorse but he’ll be dammed to even force a smile 

(Kyle is one crazy dude) 

Now he’s flopping his dick around like a helicopter

Man oh man, I don’t think you understand (Kyle is one crazy dude) 

You better hide your copper because he’ll steal it to make a chopper 

You can hear his Silverado from a mile and is bad about keeping a low profile (god damn it, we are trying to steal copper, not wake up the entire neighborhood) 

Next thing you know, hes on the old facebook marketplace place trying to sell his Silverado that’s really a piece of junk but on the description it says “it only needs a 15 inch piece of medal welded to the floorboard” 

I bet you all know a man named Kyle 

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