Kissed Her In My Head Again

I kissed her in my head again

Same lips, same sin

Same lie I keep believin’ in

Yeah...

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I saw her face in the back of my mind

Same eyeliner, same crooked smile

She said, “You’re better off,” but I’m not, I swear

Still sleep on her side, still breathe her air

I write songs just to bleed her out

But she’s the ghost I can’t live without

I kissed her in my head again last night

And woke up feelin’ less than right

---

I know she’s gone, I know she’s fine

But I still rewind every damn time

I know she’s moved, I know she’s healed

But I still feel what she never feels

---

I kissed her in my head again

Like a drug I swore I’d never take

I kissed her in my head again

Now I’m drowning in my own heartbreak

I kissed her in my head again

She said “forever” then she disappeared

I kissed her in my head again

And now I’m stuck with all her tears

---

I saw her post with some other guy

He looks like me but he’s not that high

On pain, on pills, on fake-ass hope

I’m the punchline in her horoscope

I texted “hi” then deleted fast

She’s a future I can’t outlast

I kissed her in my head again today

And it fucked me up in every way

---

I know she’s gone, I know she’s free

But I still wear her memory

I know she’s good, I know she’s clean

But I still rot in every scene

---

I kissed her in my head again

Like a drug I swore I’d never take

I kissed her in my head again

Now I’m drowning in my own heartbreak

I kissed her in my head again

She said “forever” then she disappeared

I kissed her in my head again

And now I’m stuck with all her tears

---

I kissed her in my head again

And it felt too real

Like her lips were stitched to my skin

Like her voice was carved into my ribs

Like her goodbye was a tattoo I never asked for

I kissed her in my head again

And I wish I hadn’t

I kissed her in my head again

Like a drug I swore I’d never take

I kissed her in my head again

Now I’m drowning in my own heartbreak

I kissed her in my head again

She said “forever” then she disappeared

I kissed her in my head again

And now I’m stuck with all her tears

---

Yeah...

Still kissin’ ghosts

Still losin’ sleep

Still hers...

Even when she’s not mine.