Fake Smile

Yeah…

They see the grin, not the damage

Laugh loud so nobody panic

But when the room go dark…

It’s just me and my thoughts again

I wear a fake smile when I walk through the crowd,

Say I’m okay while my head scream loud,

Everybody see the jokes, they don’t see the pain,

Don’t know I been drowning in my own brain.

Soon as I get home and the door lock tight,

All the happy disappear with the city lights,

Got tears in my eyes but I still act strong,

‘Cause being broken been my vibe too long.

I learned how to hide all the cuts in my soul,

Turn pain into humor, never let it show,

Got people around me but I still feel alone,

Like nobody really know what’s going on.

“Yo, you good?” yeah I lie every day,

Got a thousand dark thoughts I can’t escape,

Mirror on the wall and I hate that face,

Smile for the world then I break backstage.

Late nights, no sleep, just staring at the ceiling,

Tryna fight demons while I lose all feeling,

Heart went numb from the pressure and stress,

Everybody love me but I still feel less.

And I know they wouldn’t understand,

How a happy face can hide a broken man,

So I keep on playing my role again,

Even though I’m barely holding in.

I wear a fake smile when I walk through the crowd,

Say I’m okay while my head scream loud,

Everybody see the jokes, they don’t see the pain,

Don’t know I been drowning in my own brain.

Soon as I get home and the door lock tight,

All the happy disappear with the city lights,

Got tears in my eyes but I still act strong,

‘Cause being broken been my vibe too long.

I be sitting in silence with the TV on,

Just so it feel like somebody home,

Phone full of contacts I never call,

‘Cause I’m scared they won’t care at all.

And the worst part?

People think I’m healing,

‘Cause I mastered hiding every broken feeling,

Got a fake laugh and a practiced grin,

But inside my soul feel paper thin.

Every night I’m fighting myself in my head,

Tryna outrun thoughts that be wishing me dead,

But I wake back up and I do it again,

Put the mask right on when I step back in.

Maybe one day somebody gon’ see,

The war that’s hiding underneath me,

Not the smile… not the jokes I make,

But the tired soul slowly starting to break.

I wear a fake smile when I walk through the crowd,

Say I’m okay while my head scream loud,

Everybody see the light, they don’t see the rain,

Don’t know I’m exhausted from hiding pain.

Soon as I get home and the world fade out,

I’m alone with the fears and the self-doubt,

Still fighting these demons all night long,

Hoping someday I won’t feel this gone.

Yeah…

Fake smile on again tomorrow

Same pain… different morning.