Nobody Gets My Jokes Anymore

[Verse 1]
Told a guy his head would look real nice up on my wall
He didn't laugh. Just started runnin'. I guess he'd heard it all
Told the next one "Don't worry, I only kill the ones I like"
He shot himself right on the spot. Man, people are so uptight

[Chorus]
Nobody gets my jokes anymore
Used to be the funny one around this dusty town
Now they just look at me and lock the general store
I tell 'em "lighten up, it's just a joke"
They start screamin' on the floor
Nobody gets my jokes anymore
[snort laugh]

[Verse 2]
Told a pretty lady "You got eyes like a vulture's nest"
She maced me and confessed that I had failed the vibe check
Told a bartender "I'll pay you in teeth, they're as good as cash"
He reached under the counter. Man, that fella's got no class

[Chorus]

Nobody gets my jokes anymore
Used to be the funny one around this dusty town
Now they just look at me and lock the general store
I tell 'em "lighten up, it's just a joke"
They start screamin' on the floor
Nobody gets my jokes anymore
[snort laugh]

[Bridge — spoken, faster, more unhinged]
What happened to this planet?
Used to be a guy could joke about a bloody handprint
Or a body in a trunk, or a real good skull-related pun
And folks would slap their knees and buy another round for everyone
Now I tell a little zinger 'bout a bandit and a gun
And suddenly I'm the bad guy? hollow laugh
...I'm still funny. They're the ones who changed.

[Instrumental break — banjo goes a little off the rails. Stumbling, then recovering. Then stumbling again.]

[Outro — slower, almost confused]
Nobody gets my jokes...
Nobody gets my...
[quiet]
I had a good one earlier. Somethin' about... a shovel...
...forgot the punchline.

[long pause. Then, soft:]
...ah hell.

[just guitar. Then stops mid-strum.]

Outlaw Country, Tempo: upbeat, almost bluegrass speed. Banjo or mandolin driving hard, male