Ghosting games

They say I'm cold, till I can't take another hit, my silent pleas to just be left the hell alone weren't met, apparently the teacher is fucking deaf too bad there's never a forewarning, it's all fucking silent through the class now, ringing louder than the bell there's no way I'll ever pass now 
No feelings leaking out for anyone we know, not for me, not to show you 
No tears to fall, no yelling, I'm calm as can be
Who would have thought, it was myself I was scared of abandoning me?
A silent escape, before the words can be said
Pushing you out, go ahead and welcome the dread 
A quick fade to black, a ghost in the long ass night 
Run away from this love I've chased my whole life.
I see the shift, the subtle change in your eyes
The way you gaze at me, the feelings defined 
A whisper of distance, beneath my sweet disguise
My mind races fast, to stories never told 
Make facts of the fiction before it takes hold 
A silent escape, before the words can be said
May as well throw it off track now, 
Why wait till later instead 
A quick fade to black, a damn ghost in the night
Anything to avoid, abandonment of light 
It's not that I don't care, it's a fear I can't outrun
People can't be kept, control you have none 
A self-fulfilling prophecy, before the damage is done
I break my own heart, to save it from the pain
The curtains calling , the show went insabe, feelings too heavy get washed away by the rain
A silent escape, before the words can be said
Pushing you out, instead of getting pushed in the end 
A quick fade to black, a damn ghost in the night
Anything to avoid, losing the fight 
Ghosting games, I play them well, it's my defense
But in the end, it makes no fuckin sense
Just empty spaces, where connection could be
The one I'm abandoning, is always me.

Hardcore, aggressive Rap