Why Do I Even Respond

[Male Vocal]
When the notification rings and it’s someone interesting.., after messaging first cuz that’s a regular thing now.., but it’s not exactly what I’m expecting, as the conversation dies low and I’m trying to figure out if it was me..like what did I do..what’s wrong with me but (who..,) who knows..I’ve been through this before but it doesn’t seem to wanna go away..I can’t seem to ignore the problem even with my lungs full of the drug I bottom to my last drop, reaching in my pockets to get me more and more of it..to get me through the painful nights of loneliness, 

[Hook]
Why do I even respond or text first when I know, I know it’s only gonna put me into more of an emotional state, I’m really not an emotional man but it’s has gotten harder to deal with the noticeable identity I’ve gained.., I’m sure that’s the issue of it all, 
Why do I even respond or text first when I know, I know it’s only gonna put me into more of an emotional state, I’m really not an emotional man but it’s has gotten harder to deal with the noticeable identity I’ve gained..,

[Male Vocal] 
Maybe there’s a confusion in my writing, I respond back with more of a respect, fast type of way cuz I’m more of a now kinda guy, not in hours, not in the decades they leave me in.. but I’m sure it’s cuz they think that I’m a role player man, but I just wanna talk and get to know them..but lately I’ve been used to just relying on me..to keep me sane, but it can be pretty hard on myself as I blame myself trying to maintain what’s wrong with me.., but losing battles I got into..leading first into death..if not, then the abuse I’m facing through as I keep trying and trying to have a conversation with them, 

[Hook]
Why do I even respond or text first when I know, I know it’s only gonna put me into more of an emotional state, I’m really not an emotional man but it’s has gotten harder to deal with the noticeable identity I’ve gained.., I’m sure that’s the issue of it all,
Why do I even respond or text first when I know, I know it’s only gonna put me into more of an emotional state, I’m really not an emotional man but it’s has gotten harder to deal with the noticeable identity I’ve gained..,

Dark emotional / reflective, 70 BPM, piano, subtle drums, 808 bass, micro spaces-slow breaths