Disposable Hearts of Quiet Life

Still here.

Still breathing.

Trying to remember who I am

When I’m not being used.

⸻

They tell me “man up,” like silence heals

Like breaking means weak, not something real

I pay for the dinners, the drinks, the lies

Smile through it all while I’m dying inside

I’m not her lover, I’m a walking card

Tap me when needed, then toss me apart

She says I’m “special” when rent’s overdue

Then ghosts my whole soul when she’s done with you

⸻

I scroll through my phone like it owes me a sign

Everyone’s happy—guess that means not mine

So I talk to the ceiling, it listens the best

No games, no judgment, no knife in my chest

⸻

I don’t wanna die, I just don’t wanna feel

Like I’m only worth what I buy or I deal

I’m breathing, yeah—but barely alive

Just another good man learning how to survive

They say “you’re enough,” but it’s never enough

When love feels like war and I’m losing my trust

I don’t wanna die, I just wanna be seen

In a world that keeps killing the man in me

⸻

I stopped checking my phone for replies

Stopped hoping someone would read my eyes

No more “good mornings” that die by the night

No more explaining my worth in a fight

I was the shoulder, the wallet, the fix

Too good to keep, too easy to miss

If I speak up, I’m weak—if I don’t, I’m a tool

So I stepped out the ring, broke the rule

⸻

They say “don’t give up,” but I didn’t quit

I just stopped forcing a puzzle that didn’t fit

If love costs my soul, then here’s my truth—

I finally chose myself over you

⸻

If I vanished tonight, would they miss my face?

Or just the comfort, the help, the space?

I don’t want rest in the dirt or the dark

I want peace that doesn’t tear me apart

Friday nights, quiet rooms

No fake laughs, no doomscroll blues

I sit with my thoughts—they don’t betray

They don’t leave when things turn gray

⸻

I’m not lonely, I’m just alone

There’s a difference I finally know

No more bleeding to feel something real

No more deals that I’m meant to lose

I don’t hate love, I just walked away

From the games that kept me in pain

I don’t wanna die—I wanna live free

And a quiet life… finally lets me breathe

⸻

Still here.

Still human.

No war.

No chase.

Just space.