Evil Child of Mine

[Verse 1]
She’s got that look in her eye
Like she just hid my keys
Drawn on the wall in crayon
Spelled out “payback” to me
She’s got a permanent marker
And an alibi
Yeah she smiles like an angel
While she watches me cry
[Chorus]
Woah, evil child of mine
You turned my coffee into slime
You’re such an evil child of mine
But I still tuck you in at night
[Verse 2]
She woke me up Sunday morning
With glitter in my hair
Said, “Daddy you’re a unicorn”
Then shaved my beard right there
She fed my phone to the toilet
Flushed twice for good luck
Posted a pic of my panic
Captioned “watch this guy get stuck”
[Chorus]
Woah, evil child of mine
You swapped my sugar out for brine
You little evil child of mine
But I still buy your snacks online
[Bridge]
[Band drops to bass and drums]
One minute you’re drawing hearts
Next minute you’re stealing parts
From every chair in this house
(why does the sofa bite?)
You painted the dog bright blue
Said, “he was bored, wouldn’t you?”
I should be mad, but then you laugh
And I give up the fight
[Chorus]
Woah, evil child of mine
You put fake spiders in my wine
You perfect evil child of mine
And I’m your happy Frankenstein
[Chorus]
Woah, evil child of mine
You’ll drive me out of my mind
But when your small hand’s holding mine
I thank the stars you’re evil, evil child of mine

High-energy parody rock with crunchy guitars and swaggering groove, male vocals pushed forward. Verses stay tight with palm-muted riffs and snare on the backbeat; chorus explodes with wide open power chords, stacked gang shouts, and splashy cymbals. Middle section leans into a playful breakdown where the band drops to bass and drums before slamming back into the final hook. Big, bright solo tone over the bridge, everything mixed for maximum stadium sing-along., comedy