Swamp Justice

Order in the swamp!

Judge Trump presiding —

On a gator, in a robe, with a Diet Coke sliding.

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Guilty till proven dinner, that’s the rule in this court

You get sentenced on a raft, floatin’ justice like a sport

MAGA hat bailiffs in a fan boat chase

Throw you in the pit if you don’t plead with grace

Swamp jury’s drunk — six frogs and a snake

One’s vaping moonshine, the other’s half-baked

My cellmate’s a flat-earther, tatted with a duck

He said the Earth’s a plate and the moon is just luck

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No bail, no trial, just TikTok bans

You dance in court, or lose both hands

Freedom costs a Slim Jim snack

And three gator bites to the lower back

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🎶

Swamp justice! Gator law!

One wrong word, and you’re chum, that’s raw

No appeal, no chance, no grace

Just Trump on a throne with a fly in his face

Swamp justice! Ain’t no plea

You fight in the mud for your liberty

It’s redneck Rome — deathmatch decree

Survive the night or become debris!

🎶

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Toilet wine sippin’, got a noodle for a shank

Guard’s playin’ poker with a possum in the tank

The TikTokers riot, Flat Earthers revolt

Moonshine Mafia steals the pepper vault

One dude snapped, tried to swim for the fence

Got eaten mid-sentence, now he’s past tense

Another won parole for a monster truck win

Ran over six guards while blastin’ “Born to Sin”

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You testify on a balance beam

Over gators that hiss and scheme

No jury box — just flaming tires

And swamp gas jokes from a preacher’s choir

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🎶

Swamp justice! Gator law!

Bare-knuckle trials with a chainsaw draw

No defense, no rights, just fear

And a squirrel with a badge screamin’ in your ear

Swamp justice! Cryin’ won’t work

You better learn fast or get fed to the murk

This ain’t no jail — it’s a redneck purge

Where the judge drops bombs and the gators surge!

🎶

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Order in the swamp — nah, we laugh at that

We got raccoons jugglin’ and a frog in a MAGA hat

Your attorney’s a goat, and the stenographer’s a pig

This courtroom’s nuts — like Marjorie on a wig!

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This ain’t justice…

It’s a barbecue trial

In a Florida bayou

Where mercy’s in exile

Swamp justice, baby —

You don’t get out…

You get digested. 🐊