Same Bad Habits

I keep tripping into same bad habits

Same black hole, and I dive right at it

Say I’m done, but I’m back, I panic

I’m the best I’ve been

Till I wreck it again

I keep tripping into same bad habits

Break my heart, then I pick up the fragments

Build a throne out of all my damage

Trying to be my best

Till I ruin it again

Eyes wide at 3 a.m.

Swear I'll change, then I press send

Text my past like it's my friend

(why again, why again?)

Promises stuck to my mirror

Dry-erase dreams disappear

Every year I write it clearer

Still I'm back here, back here

I keep tripping into same bad habits

Same black hole, and I dive right at it

Say I’m done, but I’m back, I panic

I’m the best I’ve been

Till I wreck it again

I keep tripping into same bad habits

Break my heart, then I pick up the fragments

Build a throne out of all my damage

Trying to be my best

Till I ruin it again

New phone, same old numbers

New life, same old summers

Scroll my guilt till my thumbs hurt

Then I laugh like it don’t burn

Tell my mom I’m doing better

Hide the pills under the sweater

Every “fine” in every letter

Is a lie in fancy words

I keep tripping into same bad habits

Same black hole, and I dive right at it

Say I’m done, but I’m back, I panic

I’m the best I’ve been

Till I wreck it again

I keep tripping into same bad habits

Break my heart, then I pick up the fragments

Build a throne out of all my damage

Trying to be my best

Till I ruin it again

What if I don’t get past this?

What if I’m just my patterns?

What if “better” is just practice

For a fall that really shatters? (oh)

I say “this time, I mean it”(This time, I mean it)

But my shadow never leaves me(leaves me)

Guess the hardest part of healing(healing)

Is the parts that wanna bleed me(bleed me)

I keep tripping into same bad habits

Same black hole, and I dive right at it

Say I’m done, but I’m back, I panic

I’m the best I’ve been

Till I wreck it again

I keep tripping into same bad habits

Break my heart, then I pick up the fragments

Build a throne out of all my damage

Trying to be my best

Till I ruin it again