Children of the Corn Syrup

(Heavy doom guitar riff opens)

Can you taste it?

The syrup’s rising…

The kids are buzzin’

From the pantry raidin’!

They were warned by elders wise

“Too much sugar makes you die!”

But they dipped them nuggets twice

Now their blood is molten ice!

CHORUS:

Children of the corn syrup, marching to the fridge at night!

Hopped up on that cola drip, insulin nowhere in sight!

They don’t want your leafy greens — broccoli ain’t in their dreams!

Just a toaster pastry war… fueled by sweetened mutant cream!

⸻

Verse 2

Preachers scream of keto wrath

But Pop-Tarts line the grocery path

Cinnamon and frosted doom

Dancing in their lunchroom tomb

Mama tried with carrots raw

But they threw them at the wall

They’ve replaced their bedtime prayer

With a Slurpee-fueled nightmare!

⸻

Bridge (slower, eerie):

Now the dentist’s chair is full

Of candy-coated souls

Plaque like ancient ruins

On molars cursed and cold

⸻

CHORUS (again):

Children of the corn syrup, rising like a snacktime tide!

Marchin’ on that vending truck, sugar demons deep inside!

A revolution glazed and fried… with Twinkie fists held high!

In the age of flavor packs, humanity’s doomed to die!

⸻

Outro whisper-growl:

Don’t you see…?

They were fed by fools…

Children of… the corn… syrup…

Are comin’ for… you… too…

(slurps loudly)