Dresser Drop

 “Dresser Drop”

Genre: Country-Rap / Comedy / Diss Anthem
Performers: Joe (main vocals), Dillon, Brandon, and Paul (ad-libs)

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[Intro – Paul yelling from the hallway]

Yo, y’all good in there?
“Joey’s on the ground again…”
sigh …this boy useless, man…

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[Verse 1 – Joe]

We was haulin’ antique down a steep-ass stair,
Joey on his phone, actin’ like he don’t care.
I said, “Grab the side,” he said, “In a sec,”
So I leaned that dresser right onto his neck.

Whole crew froze, didn’t know what to do,
Joey sayin’, “Ow,” while I’m lacin’ up my shoe.
Brandon whispered, “Bruh, you seen Joe’s eyes?”
Dillon said, “That ain’t a slip — that’s workplace homicide!”

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[Chorus – All together, rowdy]

🎶 Joey move slow, Joe got fed,
Now there’s a dresser where Joey’s head.
You don’t ghost lifts when the crew gets pressed,
Or Joe’ll drop oak like a damn bench press. 🎶
🎶 Lazy on the job? Better say your prayers,
Or you’ll be laid out under grandma’s chairs.
He said “I slipped,” but we all know,
That dresser got dropped by Big Bad Joe. 🎶

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[Verse 2 – Joe continues, mad]

Joey took two breaks and we just got started,
He vanished mid-move, came back, farted.
He said “My back hurts,” I said “Mine too,”
But I ain’t hidin’ in the truck sniffin’ Mountain Dew.

He walked by the client like a ghost in Crocs,
While I’m upstairs stackin’ dressers and clocks.
So when the moment came and he left me hangin’—
BOOM — solid wood, his skull was bangin’.

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[Bridge – Brandon, speaking]

“Bro, we told Kurt this boy was a problem…”
Dillon: “Man, that dresser solved it.”
Paul: “Justice by gravity.”

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[Chorus – Repeat with more energy]

🎶 Joey move slow, Joe got fed,
Now there’s a dresser where Joey’s head.
You don’t ghost lifts when the crew gets pressed,
Or Joe’ll drop oak like a damn bench press. 🎶
🎶 He said “My knees hurt,” “I think I’m ill,”
But Joe moves couches like they light as quill.
You wanna be crew? Then pull your load —
Or Joe’ll flip dressers like beast mode! 🎶

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[Outro – Joe, calm now]

Next time you slack, just know the cost,
Don’t test the dude who’s takin’ the loss.
I ain’t got time for no deadweight clown—
That dresser ain’t fallin’, I put it down.

Country rap