I woke up late and I missed my alarm Spilled hot coffee all over my arm Jumped in the hoopty and slammed on the gas If you drive slow I'm kicking your glass I’m doing ninety in a thirty-five zone Texting my lawyer on a flip-phone Get out the lane grandma move to the right I got a heavy foot and I’m looking for a fight Move move move get out the way I got zero patience and a bills to pay This hatchback screams like a jet in the sky I cut you off and I won't tell you why Honk the horn until the battery dies See the red rage burning in my eyes Pedal to the floor mat metal on steel I’m eating fast food with my knees on the wheel Oh no look at the rearview mirror Red and blue lights are getting nearer I think I broke a law or maybe twenty-four Should I pull over or should I floor it more I don’t wanna go to jail tonight But I really don’t wanna be polite Officer please I’m in a hurry My vision is getting a little bit blurry He’s walking up to the window tapping the glass I roll it down and say I’m out of gas He asks for license and registration I hand him a coupon for a discount vacation He smells the donuts on the passenger seat I ask him if he wants a little something to eat He’s writing a ticket the size of a book I give him a smile and a crazy look I’m running late and the siren is loud I’m drawing a massive rubbernecking crowd My insurance is up and my tires are bald This is the worst day that I ever recalled I shift to reverse and I hear a crunch There goes my bumper and there goes my lunch The cop is yelling and I’m screaming back I think I’m having a panic attack Oh no look at the rearview mirror Red and blue lights are getting nearer I think I broke a law or maybe twenty-four Should I pull over or should I floor it more I don’t wanna go to jail tonight But I really don’t wanna be polite Officer please I’m in a hurry My vision is getting a little bit blurry Handcuffs click and I’m in the back Should’ve stayed home with a panic snack Now I’m riding shotgun with the law Worst taxi ride that I ever saw The siren is wailing a sweet lullaby I guess I’m not such a tough guy Next time I drive I’ll take the bus And save myself all of this fuss Oh no look at the rearview mirror Red and blue lights are getting nearer I think I broke a law or maybe twenty-four Should I pull over or should I floor it more I don’t wanna go to jail tonight But I really don’t wanna be polite Officer please I’m in a hurry My vision is getting a little bit blurry

Full throttle fiasco