Full throttle fiasco

I woke up late and I missed my alarm

Spilled hot coffee all over my arm

Jumped in the hoopty and slammed on the gas

If you drive slow I'm kicking your glass

I’m doing ninety in a thirty-five zone

Texting my lawyer on a flip-phone

Get out the lane grandma move to the right

I got a heavy foot and I’m looking for a fight

Move move move get out the way

I got zero patience and a bills to pay

This hatchback screams like a jet in the sky

I cut you off and I won't tell you why

Honk the horn until the battery dies

See the red rage burning in my eyes

Pedal to the floor mat metal on steel

I’m eating fast food with my knees on the wheel

Oh no look at the rearview mirror

Red and blue lights are getting nearer

I think I broke a law or maybe twenty-four

Should I pull over or should I floor it more

I don’t wanna go to jail tonight

But I really don’t wanna be polite

Officer please I’m in a hurry

My vision is getting a little bit blurry

He’s walking up to the window tapping the glass

I roll it down and say I’m out of gas

He asks for license and registration

I hand him a coupon for a discount vacation

He smells the donuts on the passenger seat

I ask him if he wants a little something to eat

He’s writing a ticket the size of a book

I give him a smile and a crazy look

I’m running late and the siren is loud

I’m drawing a massive rubbernecking crowd

My insurance is up and my tires are bald

This is the worst day that I ever recalled

I shift to reverse and I hear a crunch

There goes my bumper and there goes my lunch

The cop is yelling and I’m screaming back

I think I’m having a panic attack

Oh no look at the rearview mirror

Red and blue lights are getting nearer

I think I broke a law or maybe twenty-four

Should I pull over or should I floor it more

I don’t wanna go to jail tonight

But I really don’t wanna be polite

Officer please I’m in a hurry

My vision is getting a little bit blurry

Handcuffs click and I’m in the back

Should’ve stayed home with a panic snack

Now I’m riding shotgun with the law

Worst taxi ride that I ever saw

The siren is wailing a sweet lullaby

I guess I’m not such a tough guy

Next time I drive I’ll take the bus

And save myself all of this fuss

Oh no look at the rearview mirror

Red and blue lights are getting nearer

I think I broke a law or maybe twenty-four

Should I pull over or should I floor it more

I don’t wanna go to jail tonight

But I really don’t wanna be polite

Officer please I’m in a hurry

My vision is getting a little bit blurry