Who I was

this one is me talking to me

wrote this shit like no one would hear it

(Verse 1 – introspective nergy)

Yeah, I was stuck in the dark,

Didn’t know where to start,

Every day felt heavy

Like a weight on my heart.

I was hiding from the mirror,

Didn’t like what I’d see,

Told myself I was nothing,

Man, didn’t feel me.

Living scared of the light,

Didn’t sleep, didn’t eat,

Didn’t care about life.

All the pain I was holding

Was a storm unannounced—

Bottle after bottle just to try

To quiet the sound. ( in my mind)

(Hook –melodic/rap blend)

I’m not who I was,

Had to crawl through the dust.

Every tear that I shed

Was a moment I grew up.

Yeah, I carried that pain

Like a badge I ain’t love—

But I fought through the flame

Just to prove I’m enough.

I’m not—

I’m not who I was.

(Verse 2 – faster flow)

Look—

I was spiraling fast,

Didn’t think I would last.

Poppin’ anything I found

Tryna fade from the past.

I was drowning in the habits,

Only thought was suicide

Couldn’t escape the pain inside

Pill mix with alcohol to numb my life

Weed to numb all the feelings alright

Who I was

Who I was

(Yeah )

Lost my dad at 22

crazy thing is 22 is my favorite number

but dealt with more suffering then i want to remember

every day was rainy weather

but Really never got the chance to thank you

it’s been 4 years still miss you

Relationship was shaky

At the end I was blessed to have had you

As my dad

All memories in my brain are small

forever be remembered

As a father pushing his kid to do better

You served in Vietnam

Just to escape your reality

Funny how I do that same shit too

But I use alcohol

I’m starting to abuse it too

Is this me from my past or current me talkin

At this point what’s the difference

Only difference im not as bad as I was

I’m lucky I’m not 6 feet under from an od of drugs

35 shot in one night somehow I woke up

Cutting my wrists to see my blood come up

Not for attention either

I used my nails to cut me deep.

I was hoping it would finally put me to sleep

Thoughts about a knife

But only in my dream when I slept at night

Depression is candle I’m scared to touch

If the flame goes out my time might be up.

( time is up)

I don’t fear death I fear being alive

All the nights I was numb,

All the days I was high,

Every problem I faced

I kept choosing to run.

But the pain kept chasing,

Had me locked in a cage—

Till I snapped, stood up,

Get the hell out my way.

Now I’m fighting for peace,

Not the high or the thrill.

I’m learning healing don’t come

From a bottle or pills.

Had to face my reflection,

Had to bleed, had to trust…

Had to kill who I was

To become who I must.

(Bridge – soft, reflective)

Yeah, the scars still show,

But they tell me how far I’ve come.

I ain’t proud of the things I’ve done,

proud of the battle I won.

(Final Hook)

I’m not who I was,

All that pain, all that dust—

I turned it into strength,

Turned it into love.

Now I stand on the past

Like it’s under my boots…

I ain’t running from life —

I’m not—

I’m not who I was