Flaw In My Bones

Are you insane like me?

(buffering…)

I think there’s a flaw in my code.

⸻

They sent me away to find them a fortune

A chest full of diamonds and gold

The house stayed awake with shadows and monsters

The hallways echoed and groaned

I sat in my bed till the morning

Crying, “They’re coming for me”

I tried to keep secrets inside me

My mind like a terminal disease

Are you in pain like me?

High without Mary Jane like me?

Pour a hundred-dollar bottle down the drain like me?

People whisper on the train like me—

“Don’t waste that pretty face,” they say to me

⸻

I’m bigger than my body

Colder than this home

Meaner than my demons

Bigger than these bones

(glitch stutter)

I’m bigger—bigger—than the code.

⸻

And all the people say,

“You can’t wake up, this is not a dream

You’re part of a machine, not a human being”

Face all made up, living on a screen

Low self-esteem, running on gasoline

And all the kids cry out,

“Please stop, you’re scaring me”

I can’t help this awful energy

Goddamn right, you should be scared of me—

Who is in control?

⸻

(Oh—oh—error)

I think there’s a flaw in my code

(Oh—oh—error)

These voices won’t leave me alone

Heart made of gold, hands made of cold

⸻

I paced around for hours on empty

Jumped at the slightest sound

I couldn’t stand the person inside me

So I turned all the mirrors around

Are you deranged like me?

Strange like me?

Lighting matches just to swallow the flame like me?

Call yourself a hurricane like me?

Point fingers ’cause you never take the blame like me?

I’m high enough without the lift

Tear myself apart to entertain the shift

Bought the lie, then bit my tongue

Gasoline lungs till the chorus comes

⸻

I’m bigger than my body

Colder than this home

Meaner than my demons

Bigger than these bones

(reverse reverb)

Bigger than the bones they own.

⸻

I’m well acquainted with villains that live in my bed

They beg me to write them so they never die when I’m dead

I’ve grown familiar with villains that live in my head

They say, “Stay in the machine—be remembered instead”

(glitch drop)

If I’m the monster you made, then watch me evolve.

⸻

And all the people say,

“You can’t wake up, this is not a dream”

But I see the seams, I hear the screams

I know exactly what this means

All the kids cry out,

“Please stop, you’re scaring me”

I can’t help this awful energy

Goddamn right—you should be scared of me.

(fade)

Who is in control?

(system online…)