Closed off

I wake up in a war again

My mind’s a mess I can’t defend

These voices echo through my bones

Even when I’m not alone

You try to reach, I pull away

Afraid I’ll make you feel this way

My heart’s a room I never show

The windows cracked, the lights stay low umm umm

I want to let you in so bad

But I destroy the good I’ve had

I’m fighting demons in my head

They whisper lies I’ve always fed

And every time love calls my name

I turn around and take the blame

I’m closed off, yeah, I shut the door

Not ‘cause I don’t want love — I just can’t take more

You see the surface, not the scars

I’m a battlefield with a fading heart woo woo yeea

You give me light, I shade my eyes

Scared of the truth, scared of goodbyes

You hold me close, but I resist

Can’t trust the warmth inside a kiss

You say you’ll stay, but I’ve seen loss

And every promise has a cost

So I stay distant, safe and numb

But deep inside, I come undone ummm umm

I want to feel what love could be

But I’m a prisoner I can’t set free

I’m fighting demons in my head

They whisper lies I’ve always fed

And every time love calls my name

I turn around and take the blame

I’m closed off, yeah, I shut the door

Not ‘cause I don’t want love — I just can’t take more

You see the surface, not the scars

I’m a battlefield with a fading heart woo woo yeea

If I could break this heavy chain

I’d run to you through all the pain

But I’m still lost inside this war

So I build walls instead of doors

I’m fighting demons in my soul

They take control, they won’t let go

And even when you beg me to

I can’t believe I’m good for you

I’m closed off, trapped behind the fear

Wishing I could pull you near

But love can’t live where ghosts still start

I’m a haunted home with a locked-up heart woo woo yeea