Just a Simp… on Break

🎤 [OP Nerd — laid-back, slightly exhausted voice]

Yo...
I broke God’s spine, clapped the seven realms,
Destroyed kingdoms with just one mighty… load.
The prophecy? Yeah, it changed.
The belt? Finally off — freedom tastes like ramen broth.

[Slurp FX]

But lemme tell you...
This ain’t all glory and glory holes.
There’s no scroll that warns you about…
Post-nut existential dread.
Or the deep ache of an empty snack shelf.

[Pause, sigh]

My waifu priestess?
She’s mad I nuked heaven.
The nuns? They call me “The Holy One.”
But all I feel is... tired.

[Soft chuckle]

I’m just a simp… on break.
No battles. No cheek clapping.
Just me, a cup of tea, and some seriously questionable life choices.

[Soft flute riff]

Maybe the prophecy was about more than just clapping cheeks.
Maybe it’s about the crumbs we leave behind…
The snacks we share...
And the moments between the explosions.

[Beat slows, rain fades]

But hey—
When you’re the chosen simp,
There’s no resting for the wicked… or the horny.

[Deadpan]
So if you need me,
I’ll be soaking in the hot springs...
…praying for snacks to restock…
And hoping the next load ain’t too mighty.

[Thunder rumble, crackling fire]

🎧 [Outro — distant echoing choir]

📜 “Thus the Simp King pauses...
...before the next legendary bounce.”

Lo-fi relaxing