I F*ck up my life in a beautiful way

INTRO

Yeah…

Uh

I don’t even know why I keep doin’ this shit

But it’s the only time I feel honest

Let’s go

CHORUS

I been fucked up, poppin’ pills for the pain

Different girl every week but they all feel the same

She say she love me, I don’t know what to say

I’m numb off the drugs, tryna drown out my brain

Pour another cup, yeah I know it’s a shame

Heart so broke, I don’t feel the rain

These bitches come close but they never stay

I fuck my life up in a beautiful way

VERSE 1

Met her off the late night, she said she relate

Said she love my voice, love the way I create

I was already high, couldn’t tell what was fake

She was starin’ at my scars, sayin’ she could relate

I been runnin’ from demons with drugs in my hand

Percs got me floatin’, I barely can stand

She said slow down, I said you don’t understand

This shit in my head got me stuck in a jam

I fall too fast, yeah I know that’s my flaw

Give my heart out, then I break my own laws

She want the love, I just want to feel okay

So I fuck her once then I push her away

Tell her I’m fine but I’m really not straight

Smilin’ in public, internally hate

I don’t need love, I just need somethin’ real

But the drugs the only thing help me feel

CHORUS

I been fucked up, poppin’ pills for the pain

Different girl every week but they all feel the same

She say she love me, I don’t know what to say

I’m numb off the drugs, tryna drown out my brain

Pour another cup, yeah I know it’s a shame

Heart so broke, I don’t feel the rain

These bitches come close but they never stay

I fuck my life up in a beautiful way

VERSE 2

Late night thoughts got me textin’ my ex

Even though I know that shit end in regret

She said I’m toxic, yeah bitch, no shit

I mix heartbreak with a double dose fix

Friends say chill, but they don’t hear the noise

Only time it stop when I’m paranoid

I don’t chase love, I destroy it instead

Overthinkin’ everything I ever said

She wanna save me, I told her don’t try

I been livin’ this way, yeah, since way back

I’m not a hero, I’m barely alive

Just another lost soul gettin’ high to survive

If I’m bein’ honest, I’m scared of the truth

Scared if I’m sober I’ll see all the wounds

So I light it up, let the pain dissolve

Another night, same problem unresolved

CHORUS

I been fucked up, poppin’ pills for the pain

Different girl every week but they all feel the same

She say she love me, I don’t know what to say

I’m numb off the drugs, tryna drown out my brain

Pour another cup, yeah I know it’s a shame

Heart so broke, I don’t feel the rain

These bitches come close but they never stay

I fuck my life up in a beautiful way

OUTRO

Yeah…

Still searchin’ for peace in a pill or a face

I know this shit killin’ me slowly

But tonight, it’s all I got