Something Wrong With Me

I leave my messages on read

Stare at the ceiling

Sink in bed

Make up excuses in my head

Just to stay lonely

Say I'm too busy to reply

Cancel on friends

Don't say why

Wear the same hoodie till July

Smelling like old me

I know there's something wrong with me

I laugh it off like it's funny

Turn every compliment to doubt

Start a fire

Then put it out

I know there's something wrong with me

Or maybe something hurting me

But I don't know how to say

"Can you stay?"

I hate the mirror

Hate the view

Scroll till the sunrise shining through

Promise I'll finally change next June

Then sleep till midday

Say I'm "just tired

" say I'm fine

Switch every subject

Cross each line

Treat every lifeline like a sign

To pull away

I know there's something wrong with me

I twist the good into ugly

Hold every memory like a blade

Bleeding out over small mistakes

I know there's something wrong with me

Or maybe something wired deep

And I don't know how to say

"Can you stay?"

Would you still like me

If you saw the worst parts first

All the cracked glass

All the bad words

Would you still call me

When I don't pick up for days

When I'm too afraid to ask you

I know there's something wrong with me

But you keep sitting here calmly

Pouring your coffee into mine

Saying

"It's okay to take your time" (take your time)

Maybe there's nothing wrong to fix

Just broken stories I revisit

So I'm trying now to say

"Please just stay"