Conundrum

Should i stay
Should i go
Do i matter 
How will i know
Trust my feelings
Theyve done me wrong
But be alone
That wont last long
I can feel it
It feels quite real
But emotions lie
And lack appeal
Lead with my head
Deny my heart
Done that before
Got torn apart
What is my goal
Should i have one
Is that too clinical 
Should i have fun
Im far too old
For all these doubts 
So many say
Should be figured out 
But why ask them
Look at their lives
Forever chasing 
Some illusive prize
Forever and always 
Wanting more
I cant see a purpose 
If that's all its for
In the silence 
In the dark
I sort me out
I make a start
Theres so much light
And so much noise
Its overwhelming 
Cant make a choice 
Whats so wrong 
With choosing ME
Fall in love with life
And just live happily
Who am i kidding
Thats never worked 
So I must decide 
Who thinks im a jerk.

...its gonna be someone. 

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