Regret Full E

I see the boy inside

Try to ignore his mind

I see the fake ass man

Try to understand

Why the boy & the man cant live hand n hand & why the world seems to slam & reprimand

no excuses

you're the one who chooses

to keep causing shit

when its you who can change it

Why can’t you admit it

You push truth away all day, you avoid it

Get annoyed at it

At yourself for being this way

You have nowhere else to stay

just keep running away

Why don’t you pause for a sec

You look like a wreck

That pain in your neck

It's your Paranoia

sayin get a lawyer

But you gotta leave here

To go get more gear

Or it'll annoy ya

again - til when?

Try pushing on paper with a pen

Get it out, stop holding it in

Cos that shit in your head is poison

more poisonous

than your exes jealous noises

& all the other voices

Yelling you all the choices

Sayin choose one & make

A choice & get out of the FAKE

That fake love & introduce you to love that's real

& take

The chance to heal

& let yourself feel

A True love The True way

not the fuckd up toxic way

You've been shown everyday

In every way it's not ok

I see the boy inside

Try to ignore his mind

I see the fake ass man

Try to understand

How the boy & man can live hand n hand as the world slams & reprimands

no excuses

you're who chooses

to keep doing the shit

Or, change all of it

Survival mode fully on

The whole time all along

Tryin

To stop you from dyin

Or being the abandoned 1

makes you become

The guy fucking over everyone

thinking youre gonna be done

But youre the enemy, on the run

Tryin to keep safe inside

But you hide

& don't realise

The payoff is

All the good shit you miss

On the otherside

You & your egos pride

Struggled to confide

In anyone & now she's your guide

You broke down you cried

With her you've never lied

With her you fully tried

To not get fried

But for that to work for you

You need her to stop too

She would if she could but cant

request denied

& yes

you bring out the best

Even tho you're both a fuckin mess

Except when youre stressed, you go back to useless

& that's when you give up, you fuck up, you shut up, you get worked up & think shes fed up

But its when you’re too cooked youre the worst

The curse of a life in hell in reverse

Cos you go do shit that could put you in a hearse

Then realise you just made it so much worse

&

if it wasnt too late

You mightve been

Able to see how great

She would've been

For you to date

Even tho you gave her a high heart rate

Her love should've turned to hate

she still chose to patiently wait

For you to show up or wreck it

Wishing you'd step up or check in

You didnt, you left

& maybe now you regret

Losing the best woman you ever met

The greatest love in life

That anyone could ever get

You came back for more

fucked it up again hard core

So Goodbye E

Won't miss you much

Hopefully

But I know for sure that you

You will miss me!