I used to laugh when I hit the ground physics loved me, I never stayed down Every wall said “try again” Every fall felt like a friend Neon trails, momentum jokes I bent the rules and slipped through folks No fear math, no sense of cost If I bounced back, nothing was lost They called me Speedball — say it fast Bright dumb colors, built to last Comic relief in a cape and grin I hit the wall and came back in Then Stamford happened and the air went still Panels went white, the world got real I felt the heat before the sound Then there was nothing left to bounce I tried to move — the ground didn’t care Bodies don’t ricochet from prayer Six hundred names I didn’t know Now live in every place I go I stopped bouncing. I stopped smiling. **I don’t bounce when I hit the ground** *(no sound)* **I just stay there now** They locked me up and let me rot Said “serve the time” like time forgot I wore the blame, I wore the stare Every mirror asked “why were you there?” Registration forms, sides to pick I picked the pain — it felt more honest If I hurt enough maybe the math works out Maybe screams get quieter if I scream loud I sharpened guilt into something clean Turned every nerve into a receipt If suffering’s proof then I’ll keep score I’ll pay in blood, then bleed some more They stopped calling me Speedball That name felt like a lie I told Bright things don’t stay bright long Not when they’re used to light the bomb **I don’t bounce when I hit the ground** *(hold still)* **I put the spikes in now** They named me Penance, said it fits A walking sentence made of guilt Every step hurts, good — it should Pain’s the only thing that feels true I’m not fast, I’m not free I’m just gravity remembering me Every movement’s a measured sin Every breath digs deeper in But somewhere under all that steel There’s motion I refuse to kill I didn’t die in Stamford’s fire I just burned off who I was I won’t laugh through the fall again I won’t pretend I didn’t see them I’ll carry weight, I’ll choose my landings I’ll stay present when it’s demanding **I don’t bounce when I hit the ground** *(breathe out)* **but I don’t run from it now** I was Speedball — noise and light I am Penance — I stayed the night Not redeemed, not forgiven yet Just still here, still trying, still kinetic