(Morning light shining on my skin) (So high I forget how restless I really am) (Haven’t slept in a few days) (Seventy two days straight intoxicated) Ugh Morning light shining in the window I look out. Pieces of her still linger even right now. Hating everything feeling like a disappointment. Can’t talk about my feelings cuz it’ll just start an argument. H is for the hurt that no one could fix. E is for the emotions that came with it. R is for the regrets that I have for the stupid shit but I just have to forget it even though it’s hard In the moment. Every fucking day I ponder about the same problems. I came all this way I wonder if I can solve them. she decided not to stay but that happens quite often. Broken hearted and ashamed my sins are the only options. As I try to wash them away after I suddenly lose oxygen. I lose my breath… My mind gets intense… I’m too high to rest… I just want to go to bed… Who knew getting high was so exhausting. Especially trying to forget about her that’s the only option I can think of. It seems like I didn’t do enough. Knocking myself unconscious from the Percocet and Xanax. Combining ten Xans with three Perks every day after 3 months straight my minds so disturbed. Feel like death I struggle to get dressed so I snort a perk and pop a Xan to get ready for what’s next. About to pass out because I couldn’t sleep in my bed, Zoro licks me and whimpers because he needs to be feed. As I limp over I heard my best friend said “where’s my Xans dude” and I said “ I dunno bro where’s my Xans”. It appears we consumed all our Xans that night and we bought forty five…. (Fuck) All just to forget about a female who hardly remembers my existence. Now I get so resistant. I can’t calm down when I’m alone in my feelings. Starting to think I may be the problem with why girls can’t handle my emotions. No wonder why I have an addiction. No motivation to do a daily challenge. All these lessons over pile on my conscious. Feeling delirious. Feeling anxious. Feeling intoxicated. My coping is outdated. Feeling frustrated because nothings working. It’s aggravating that’s why I’m always complaining and demonstrating my influence of drug impersonation. I know it’s not my mission to be misunderstanding but learn from my lessons that I’m not to be followed through the darkness of my mansions. Morning light shining in the window I look out. Pieces of her still linger even right now. I hate everything feeling like a disappointment. I can’t talk about my feelings cuz it’ll just start an argument. Sorry for the inconvenience. (Medicine in you)

H.E.R