Dead but Dreaming

I’m still breathing…

But I don’t feel alive

I wake up numb again

Like I never left the night

Carrying a body

That refuses to feel right

I speak but nothing lands

Every word just hits the floor

I’ve been here my whole life

But I don’t feel here anymore

I’m not broken enough to shatter

Not strong enough to stay

Just stuck in the middle

Watching myself decay

I’m dead but dreaming

Stuck between gone and here

I don’t wanna die

I just don’t wanna be me

I’m fading slowly

Like smoke in the rain

If I disappear quietly

Would it all feel the same?

I learned how to blend in

So I wouldn’t be a weight

Learned how to swallow pain

So no one has to stay

Every smile’s automatic

Every laugh is rehearsed

I’m alive on the surface

But inside it just hurts

I don’t need saving

I don’t need blame

I just want silence

Inside my brain

I’m dead but dreaming

Still trapped in my skin

I don’t wanna end it

I just don’t wanna begin

I’m losing pieces

Every time I breathe

I don’t wanna be remembered

I just want relief

If I’m nothing

I can’t fail

If I’m nowhere

I can’t feel

No expectations

No disguise

Just let me fade

Into the night

I’M STILL HERE

BUT I’M EMPTY

STILL STANDING

BUT I’M BENT

I’M NOT LOOKING

FOR AN ENDING

I JUST WANT

THIS WEIGHT TO LIFT

I’m dead but dreaming

Floating through the days

Every heartbeat

Just another thing to escape

If I fade slowly

Without a sound

I won’t haunt the living

I’ll just melt into the ground

Dead but dreaming…

Still breathing…

Still here…