The Mask I Wear

[Intro (eerie)]Funny how they laugh…

Till you stop laughing with ‘em…

[Verse 1] I been smiling through pain like it’s all a joke

Cracked mask on my face but it never broke

Everybody sees me like I’m doing fine

But they don’t see the war inside

Got a past I replay like a broken scene

Every wrong decision still controls me

Every word I said I can’t undo

Still echo back like they aimed at you

They clap when you’re up, disappear when you fall

Say they got your back, but they don’t at all

So I learned real quick to hide my pain

Turn a dark storm into light rain

[Hook (haunting)] I smile like I’m fine, but I’m losing me

Got a war in my mind that they never see

They laugh at the pain, call it comedy

But the joke ain’t funny when it’s cutting deep

Yeah I smile like I’m fine, play the part again

Hide the cracks, let ‘em think I’m a different man

But the truth in the dark when I’m alone

I don’t even recognize who I’ve become

[Verse 2 (more intensity)] Now it’s getting louder, I can’t mute the sound

All the doubt in my head keeps circling ‘round

Saying “you the reason everything went wrong”

“You been broken inside all along”

I start believing what the voice might say

Seeing my life in a darker way

Losing grip on the man I was

Questioning what all this pain is for

I tried to fix it, tried to make it right

But regret don’t fade, it just grows at night

Like a shadow that sticks when lights go low

Like a wound that heals but still won’t close

[Hook (stronger)] I smile like I’m fine, but I’m losing me…

If I break, would they finally see?

Would they care what’s inside of me?

Or just laugh like they always do…

Till I turn into something new…

I ain’t trying to snap, just trying to cope

Carrying this weight without losing hope

But it’s hard when the past has a grip so tight

And it pulls me back every time I fight

Yeah I made mistakes, I own my wrongs

More than the sum of what I did wrong

Still trying to grow, still trying to change

Even if I’m stuck in this mental cage

I don’t wanna be what the pain creates

Don’t wanna turn cold, don’t wanna hate

So I fight that voice, even when it’s loud

Even when it tries to drag me down

I smile like I’m fine, but I’m healing slow

Every scar, every bruise, yeah it starts to show

They can laugh all they want, they don’t know my fight

I’ve been battling demons just to feel alright

Funny how they only see what you show ‘em…

Never what’s underneath it…

I’ve been carrying this weight so long…

I don’t even know who I was before it…

Every mistake… every word… every scar…

It don’t leave…

Maybe it ain’t about forgetting…

Maybe it’s about learning how to live with it…

Learning how to stand… even when it’s heavy…

Yeah… they can laugh… they can look… they can judge…

They don’t hear the silence when I’m by myself…

They don’t feel this… but I’m still here…

Still fighting… still trying… still… smiling…