My Ex Is a Skag Now (And That's an Upgrade)

She ran off with a bandit named Chip

Said I didn't have no future, just a death grip on a sip

Last I heard, Chip got ate by something big and mean

And she ended up out in the dumpster, gnawin' on a spleen

My ex is a skag now, and that's an upgrade

She's finally got a job where her bite ain't just for show

She used to take my money and my last good cigarette

Now she just eats garbage and howls at the moon, you know?

Yeah, my ex is a skag now

And honestly? I'm proud

She used to nag me 'bout my drinkin', 'bout my friends, 'bout my smell

Now she rolls around in viscera and wears it pretty well

She don't call me on the Echo-Net at three AM to fight

She just tries to eat my face off — that's the most polite she's been all night

My ex is a skag now, and that's an upgrade

She's finally got a job where her bite ain't just for show

She used to take my money and my last good cigarette

Now she just eats garbage and howls at the moon, you know?

Yeah, my ex is a skag now

And honestly? I'm proud

I saw her last Tuesday behind a Catch-A-Ride

She was eatin' somethin' squealin'. I said "Hey, honey, nice to see you alive."

She snapped at my boot heel. I gave her a wave.

Best damn closure a man ever got — no paperwork, no grave.

My ex is a skag

My ex is a skag

She finally found a partner who can match her level of mad

Yeah my ex is a skag

And that's an up— that's an up—

That's an upgrade, baby!

Ahhh... love stinks.