Voided hole of darkness

Staring into the nether

Its like a giant void

Waiting for whatever will eventually be deployed

Its a space an emptiness

Of darkness and yet

Its not dark it's just lacking fulfillment of intent

So I wonder

What will live here

When will it arrive

When will it be there

The thing that's supposed to full the vacancy

Of whatever the reason the abyss was originally

Built for

Carved out to store

A vision incomplete or

Is it too soon and we need to wait some more

Its a mind fuck

I'm completely stuck

Overthinking

Whats the meaning

Help me get out of this brain

Cos it's gonna drive me crazy insane

I walk away and stare elsewhere

But my mind cant help but drift back

To that hollow nothingness of black

And even if I stop

My body cant seem to

I dont mean to

Obsessively cling to

This thing i cant explain

Its embedded in my brain

And it's driving me crazy so fucking crazy insane

Fuck not again

Quick

I need to trick

Myself into forgetting

Pull me from regretting

Why did I have to look

Why did I see

Why couldn't I just walk away and accept curiosity

No.. I had to wonder and try

To guess what could possibly be in there and why

What if it's waiting for me to jump in it and die

Wait

Is that it? Don't lie

Tell me

You have to say

Is that why I cant see it today?

I'm not supposed to I'm not ready

And if I keep trying to see it could be deadly

So maybe I should stop now

Incase this is the end somehow

And im just digging an early grave

Instead of trusting and riding the wave

I'm just falling without knowing into the cave

That will consume me if dont just click control alt S and save

Leave it alone

For fuck sake you've always known

Its the inevitable written in stone

When it's supposed to, you cant postpone

There's no option but to live while you live

So dont focus on that hugely big hole of massive

Don't do more or give more than you need to give

Its just a waste of time cos for now you're fucking fine

You're just scared of something you cant control for what?

So you dont have to walk around with that looming hole

That you know one day its for your soul

To lay itself when your body gives out

When your flesh prison goes south

Do we just sit there in the void without a view

For the rest of however long is forever times two

Or can I decorate it

Hang pictures and make it

Look bright and pretty like a homely place

So I can at least look forward to the space

That I'll curl up and shrivel away in

Seems only fair right? Well that's ok then

Ha.. cha ching that's the thing

The answer to this hole of nothing

The walls are painted by my congruency

moments I live with integrity darkness only stays from truency

When I sit consistently in avoidency annoyingly

Noone else can brighten that dark

Its up to be fuck

I better start

I hope im not too late

Please I see it now please wait

I want to to but not before

I get to line those walls with your

Face your smile your eyes

I'm sorry I didn't see you sooner I tried

And now ... its over. Its too late.

I died.