Stars, Stripes, and… Flush

Verse 1)
Grab your popcorn, gather ‘round, it’s quite the show,
The orange menace wipes where the sun don’t glow.
Red, white, and blue? More like brown, white, and smeared,
And the crowd goes wild—“Oh my God, how revered!”

(Chorus)
Wave that flag, roll it out, nothing’s more sublime,
Freedom smells like bathroom tissue every time.
To them, it’s a masterpiece, a true display,
Patriotism’s finest in a porcelain ballet.

(Verse 2)
Every fold, every pleat, it’s a patriotic swipe,
Liberty’s legacy reduced to bathroom hype.
The anthem plays softly while the stars go down,
And they cheer for the tyrant with the national gown.

(Chorus)
Wave that flag, roll it out, nothing’s more sublime,
Freedom smells like bathroom tissue every time.
To them, it’s a masterpiece, a true display,
Patriotism’s finest in a porcelain ballet.

(Bridge)
Oh, Constitution, we honor you in jest,
Your pages might crumple under this test.
History rolls its eyes, but they can’t see,
They’re blinded by the scent of liberty… and TP.

(Final Chorus)
Wave that flag, roll it out, nothing’s more sublime,
Freedom smells like bathroom tissue every time.
To them, it’s the boldest, the bravest display,
Stars, stripes, and flush—“Merica!” hooray!

female vocals, in a witty country hillbilly banjo duel jamboree