Help Lines

They tell you how to cope when life is a mess,
In waves of self hatred and times you’re in distress. 
They mention the same things, give you reasons to go on. 
They highlight all the ways you can force yourself to be strong. 

Maybe you believe them, especially at first. 
Someone seems to listen, seems to care that you are hurt. 
But as time goes by, it’s all the same and everything gets worse. 
You explain your fight, but all they give is the same advice they gave at first. 

Your problems keep on piling, your emotions keep on rising. 
The help they give is basic and you’re told just to fight this. 
They don’t understand anymore and they just tell you you’re in crisis. 
Your mind becomes a vortex and your life is no longer private. 
Everyone one you meet to help knows all your problems and you start to feel lifeless. 

So you tell them one last time, exactly how you feel. 
They tell you the same things, ask if you can help yourself to heal. 
You tell them no, that you’ve backed down, that it’s time to end the cycle. 
They look you dead in the eye and tell you it’s fine,
If you need them you can, this isn’t the end of the line. 

It’s been less than 24 hours and the call has been made. 
If only they’d listened, could you have been saved?
They give you a coin and tell you to flip it. 
You stand by the phone, waiting for the gimmick. 
They end the call and you stop all your cries. 
You flip the coin. 
Heads you live and tails you die. 

Sad