Still loading....

I’m here.

Kinda.

Screen on.

Brain off.

Body moving

like it knows the routine

better than I do.

I’ve been breathing out of habit,

not intention.

Made coffee.

Forgot it.

Microwaved it.

Still drank it cold.

I’ve been living

in loops lately.

Same playlist.

Same hoodie.

Same three lies when someone checks in.

I say,

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Like it’s a voicemail greeting.

Like it means anything.

Still loading.

Not broken.

Not better.

Just stuck

somewhere between

last year and last night.

Buffering through a life

that won’t finish rendering.

I scroll more than I sleep.

Swipe like I’m looking

for permission

to feel something.

Keep deleting messages

I never had the energy to send.

Keep replying in my head

but not out loud.

Even my shadow

feels like it’s lagging lately.

People say

“be present.”

But I’ve been here so long

the moment

don’t even recognize me.

My goals?

Blurred.

My plans?

Ghosted.

I’m not dreaming anymore —

just scheduling survival

between meals.

I clean the kitchen,

but the thoughts pile up.

I open tabs

and forget

why I’m even online.

I don’t want advice.

I want a damn reset button

that doesn’t judge me

for pressing it.

Still loading.

I’m not asking for miracles.

Just maybe

a progress bar.

Just maybe

a sign this version of me

still works.

I’ll get there.

Eventually.

But not today.

And not

because I didn’t try —

but because

trying takes more than I got right now.

STILL loading...

Should probably upgrade,

To a better edition.

Someone with less issues,

And the question to ask

Is; " whose idea was it to believe

my problems, aren't going to last forever?"

Askin' for a freind -

(Still nothing...)