Tortured mind

It was a cruel day when I was seventeen,
Curled up in my closet, didn’t want to be seen.  
That was the day that started it all, a tortured mind and the beginning of my fall. 
I fell into a pit with no light. 
And as I wept, I gave up my fight. 
I came out of that closet, tear stained eyes. 
I stared in the mirror, not ready for my demise. 
That day I found out this world just wasn’t kind. 
How do I begin to live with this tortured mind. 
The torture of the mind is a feeling of a helpless kind. 
When you wish you could just press rewind and turn back the hands of time. 
I had to move forward without looking back. 
And every day felt like a new attack
The fear was dark.  my soul felt empty
This tortured mind kept dragging with me.  
Smiles and laughter and putting on a mask
No one knew how much it took to put on that act. 
It was all day, all night, and even in my dreams. 
The years were short but the days were long it seemed. 
The dark days and nights never seemed to end. 
This tortured mind just wouldn’t bend. 
The torture of the mind is a feeling of a helpless kind. 
When you wish you could just press rewind and turn back the hands of time. 
I had to move forward without looking back. 
And every day felt like a new attack
The fear was dark.  my soul felt empty. 
This tortured mind kept dragging with me.  
I sit here alone after 30 years have been stolen. 
With tears in my eyes, my spirit has been broken. 
My tortured mind at last has spoken.